Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ugh

You know what get me slightly weepy? Text messages from my grandma that say "Miss you and love you." It just makes me miss home a little bit more. It also makes me nervous. I get nervous because if this doesn't pan out, not only am I screwed over, but others are too. In a roundabout way. I get so nervous about these things because I never know if everything is going to come together like it should in my mind. At this point I'm wishing beyond hope and prayers and dreams for this to happen.

I sound repetitive and anxious. I hate being repetitive. I just...all three sentences started with I. This is something that has been locked away for so long and now looks like it might come true and that makes me nervous because when things go up in my life they have a tendency of crashing down quickly. This is something that would thrill me if it came true fully. Even now it seems like a dream that it's happening even kinda right now. I hope it doesn't end Sunday. That Sunday is just the start and it keeps getting better.

Now I'm homesick and nervous.

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