Halloween

It has been a super busy October. Between classes, work, planning for the costume party and then the party, I'm pretty sure I lost time somewhere in there. It feels like it went by too fast. There were a lot of frustrations this month, mostly revolving around people not living up to what they said they'd do and others just not getting the hint. But all in all, it was a decent October.

This year to the costume party I went as a zombie. I got several good comments about it and lots of 'that looks real!' Which is what I always aim for. I'd rather look realistic than cheesy. Currently, I sit nine minutes away from Halloween. It's my most favorite holiday and I am quite excited for it tomorrow! Love it. I love the feeling in the air. The frights, treats and ghouls. It's an all around great time.

I was going to go into a couple of the things that have been bothering me, but now that I've talked about Halloween and the fact that it's so close, I don't want to. I'll save that for a post for another time.

I can't wait to be home for Halloween and help out at my mom's house. But I am really sad about not being able to spend it with my friends here at school. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get some friends to go with me to the haunted house in town. I've never been in the four years here, and always have wanted to. They all went earlier this month, but maybe they'll want to go again? I can hope right? Got to watch all the Halloweentown movies today, and hopefully will be able to watch many more scary movies tomorrow. I'll have to remember to pick up some candy tomorrow too! Life is always better with some fun sizes candies around.

Halloween has always been a special holiday to me. I've always loved dressing up as someone other than myself and being able to wander the streets at night with my friends enjoying the fall weather. I don't know if I can describe the feeling as anything other than magical. It just feels like everything is right in the world and happy. Much better than any other holiday in my opinion.

Well, that's all folks....
Happy Halloween!

C'est la vie

This week is Fall Break. It really started back on Friday, but I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday at a youth convention. It was pretty nice, I like being able to help others with some work and talking to kids about my school. I got pretty close to the girls who went and we had a great time.

Crafting has picked up a fair bit. Cranked out a couple of hats and a Spheal. For those who don't know what that is, it's a really useless pokemon that I find super adorable. Tomorrow I'm going to finish the paper mache that I started today and hopefully get a couple mustangs done for the student life 'store.' I haven't finished a bunch of projects and probably should finish them, but I feel no need to. Maybe, if I finish them I'll be more motivated to do other things?

Right now my mind is really scattered. I had thought I was going to meet a friend for coffee or something today, never happened. It's mostly disappointing because I know it's one of the few chances I'll get to maybe have a relationship with someone off campus. But I understand being busy and such. C'est la vie. Maybe something else will come along.

I'm supposed to go to Hickory this Saturday to meet a dog that the rescue I work for is considering taking into the Battle Buddy program. It's a five hour drive, which is something I was not counting on. Hopefully I can find someone to go with me so the drive will be more bearable. I'm excited to go, but not at the same time.

Sending more pictures off this week. I really hope something takes.

hand holding

Sometimes I wish I had someone around to hold my hand and tell me I'm pretty. Sure, my friends and I will goof around and hold hands and stuff, and yeah, they tell me I'm pretty. But it's not the same as having someone who is there to get to know you inside and out, who wants to know the good and bad and in between....having them tell you you're pretty, is totally different.

This may come off as really vain. I don't mean it to.

There are lots of times I look at the couples around me, and trust me, there are plenty, and I wonder, how did they manage to find each other while I'm still here alone? Then starts the, "Am I repulsive to guys?" "Am I really that bad of a person?" "That not interesting?" "What is so wrong with me?" I know these are irrational, and that I should be patient and wait, because good things come to those who wait and God knows what he's doing by not placing a significant other in my life. But I really would like to watch movies with someone to turn to during the good parts and say things to, to share walks with and to talk about random things with. It'd be swell to have someone that'll call just to see if I want to go to the aquarium that day.

I feel like this is starting to sound like the plot of a chick flick. Too bad there isn't a musical number that will spontaneously occur. I can dream right?

Oh, to have a love like Audrey and Seymour, Janet and Brad, Rachel and Finn.....

But I'll wait. Like I'm supposed to. And let these hand holding wishes pass like they always do.

great

Tonight was great! Got to go out to Tres, a great mexican restaurant, with a a couple friends- one old, one new. And then listened to a brilliant story teller and their tales of travel. It was....great. just great. Any way, that's all I have time to update on. I really need to get to bed to be ready for chapel in the morning :)

More dog like

Last night I had a dream that my family came to my graduation. I'd been expecting them and was anxiously awaiting their arrival out by the swings on campus. then they pulled up and got out of the car, I started to walk towards them and then my grandma stepped to the side and out bounded my Harley. I called to him and got a look very similar to this:

And then when I called again, he started to run like this:

He ran to me and jumped up, it was the happiest feeling ever. All his wiggling and licking and barking, and just having him near. Yeah, it was great to have my family there too, but, my dog. The embodiment of unconditional love and inability to judge. The pure joy that is a small dog. Sometimes I wonder if God gave us dogs so that we could have a glimpse into the joy that He has when we turn to Him. Or if they are here to show us how to act towards one another. The Bible says that whenever someone confesses their faith in God and Jesus, the angels rejoice along with Him. I don't picture angles and saints dancing around blowing trumpets when a person turns to God. I picture a dog waiting at the dog for it's master and the pure joy the dog expresses as soon as their person walks in the door. The slobber laden kisses, jumping and butt wiggling. That's the kind of joy I think of when a person becomes saved. Pure, uninhibited joy.
And if they are here to teach us how to act, they show us how to be friends with others, to forgive mistakes, live in the moment and to never give up. Sure, there are some dogs that don't like others, but there are always exceptions to the rule. But in the most part, my dog has never met a stranger. He loves everyone regardless of their past, how they look or what they may do. He never holds a grudge if I mess up, trip over him and he doesn't judge me when I fail. He's always in the moment. Dogs live in the now and don't worry about tomorrow. And they never give up waiting on you. Hachi waited nine years for his owner to step off of a train to walk home with him like he had done for years before. He didn't know that his owner had died. Every day, he waited. He never gave up that his owner was going to go home with him. That's what dogs do. They keep the faith that you will return home to them and they'll forgive you for the length of time that you were gone and be just as happy to see you as ever.

I can't wait to go home and see Harley. I wish he could come for my graduation, that would make my day. But just knowing that he's at home, waiting for me to return is enough for now. I miss him terribly. And I hope that over time, I become more dog like in how I treat others.

bunny trails

It's late. I'm up because someone in the dorm keeps bouncing a ball and I can hear it. Thud. Thud. Thud. I'm pretty sure I have a super power and it's hearing. But only when I'm in a concrete building. Otherwise, hearing is pretty much lost.

This weekend has been a long one. I've really been missing my puppy and kitty. Which makes me feel kinda lame and homesick at the same time. Did find a cute dino costume for my dog to wear next year! It's going to be so weird to be home for the holidays. I'm not sure how I'm going to react to being home. To not going to school in the fall.

On a bunny trail, I have another agency I'm trying to get with. Hopefully that takes off. I keep trying to think positive about it. I really want it to happen. really, really badly.

Now I've lost all track of thought and rereading what I've already written didn't help much either. Ah well. Halloween is coming up and I'm in charge of the costume party at school. Pretty stoked about it and all the ideas I have for it. I really hope it comes together like it is in my mind.

my nails are painted pink. watched jurassic parks 1-3. pro and conning relationships. and that folks, finishes what's on my mind.