Sunday, January 22, 2012

Death and God

Since I started back at school, it's been a roller coaster. And I'm not a fan of roller coasters! The first week of intensives were fine. I mean, it was just normal school stuff. Naturally none of the books I ordered came in on time, but I expected that. Then on that Friday, after class, I got the call that my Great-Great-Uncle had passed away. It hit me pretty hard. Death hits everyone hard, but this was especially hard for me because I had just seen him the previous weekend, just spoken to him and promised to make cheesecake this summer for him. It was really sudden. The funeral was the following Tuesday, this past one. I wanted to be there, but it wasn't going to happen. The cost of flying home was too high and not cost effective for three days. Now I'm okay. Well as okay as one can be. Thanks to my dear friends for recognizing what I needed during that time and being there to listen, pray and help. At times I know I will still struggle with this. No matter how many people you know pass on, it never gets easier. The one thing that remains the same is that I know God will help me through. And it sounds really cliche, and somewhat dumb, but it's all good because He's good. Thing happen for a reason, and though we may not understand them, God does and we just have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I know that I wouldn't have made it through if I didn't have that. If He hadn't placed my friends in my life or given me something to rely on. I just hope that everyone back home comes through okay. And I hope that anyone that has to go through this can get through it with minimal pain. It sucks hurting, crying and feeling like no one understands. It hurts to feel empty inside. It's no fun to wake up with puffy eyes and ruddy cheeks. Thank goodness God's there to help ease the pain. Life would be terrible without him.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Break reflections

There are two days before I head back to North Carolina for what was supposed to be my last semester of college. Unfortunately, due to credits, failing a course and such, it's not going to be. at first, I was pretty pissed about it. It sucks. I've spent six years in college working on an undergrad. Transferred twice to find the right college, finally get there and end up in a world of hurt. But I've come to terms with it and am okay now. It'll give me more time to work on saving to pay future bills, spend more time figuring out where I want to live, what to do with my life, and will allow me to work on my acting.

Speaking of the acting thing, I did a voice over for an animation this break. It was pretty cool! Really enjoyed it and hope to do more. Looking into taking some classes soon-ish!! Also, it's pretty cool to be able to say, yeah, I called my agent today!

Back to break, it's been a pretty okay break. Slightly less dramatic than normal which was nice. Got to go see my mom, which I loved. There was snow on the ground, but none in the air! Saw all of that family and enjoyed my time there a lot. Came back and did Christmas with the family here in Mo. That was pretty nice too. Then for New Year's went up to Kansas City to spend time with extended family. I really enjoyed getting to see them because I only get to see them once a year. It was also the first time I spent a holiday with them and no one else from the branch of my family. It was cool because they got to know me outside of that premise. Hopefully in the future I'll be able to spend more time with them at future events!

Also over break, I spent a lot of time at the rescue. If you didn't know, I brought two dogs back from NC with me. Mayday, a little white puppy, and Geno, a big red dog. Mayday found her home two days after I brought her back. She's now living in Bolivar with a soldier. In a year or so she'll be going through training to be a full service dog, hopefully. Geno is currently enjoying life at the rescue and waiting for his training to start. Winter is one of the other dogs at the rescue. She's a siberian husky and is going to a girl who has CP. I got to work with both the dog and the girl and help plan out what best to train the dog so that she'll meet the needs of the girl. Spent a lot of time with Bojack, Sid, Cubby Bear, Brodie- who is a recent one that came from a soldier who couldn't take him to the next base; Nessa, Jessica, Highway, Tank, Bomber, George, Fancy, Harley, Glory, Columbo, Frog, Rita, Bucket, Bridget, Bailey, Nell, Sugar, Sam, Halo, Spot- who found a home; Buck, Commander, Paco, Fiesta, Gorda, Lassie, Jessie, Shmesh, Tillman and Maverick. Which is basically everyone there. And the cats. Oh, and Awol, the pig. Who was the last and most unusual rescue. I really love getting to work with the dogs and know that I'm making a difference in their lives, and in the future, a person's life. Though, now the rescue I work with is no longer a rescue. It's now a training center. It changed because legislation in Missouri makes it super expensive to maintain a rescue (see Prop B and it's amendments). So, it's now a training center and pretty much every dog there is going to be qualified to be a service dog. That's pretty neat in my opinion. But that's all I really have to say about the rescue right now without getting all teary eyed.

That's pretty much my break. I learned out to make creamed eggs over toast, which I love. I'm in the midst of doing laundry and packing it up. So, I better swish jellyfish.