Thursday, December 31, 2009

Oh, 09

Tonight 2009 is officially history. I don't know why I stated that, its pretty well common knowledge. If you didn't know that and are deeply distraught because of that fact, well, sorry. But everything comes to an end at some point. 2010 doesn't look like it will be much different than this past year, well, sans the fact I won't be recovering from a nasty breakup, and with any luck it will be much less dramatic. Unless there's theater drama. That I could do with more of. I suppose I should be reflecting on the past year...

It sucked. Then it got better. I worked a lot with the youth. I love working with youth. Found new friends. Found true friends. Showed my animals. Turned 21. Realized 21 really isn't all that awesome. Saw a lot of great movies. Saw a lot of bad movies. Went to Germany. Fell in love with Germany and the people there. Discovered German food. Fell in love with German food. Met some old/new relatives. Realized I drove the length of the US and then some. Worked. Studied. Found the greatness in recruitment. Realized my worth. Stopped being walked much. Found my voice. Lost my voice. Froze. Played at the beach. Rediscovered love of the beach. Played in the country. Realized its not so bad in the country (still wouldn't mind a pool). Found new music. Refound the love and obsession with music. Stayed up many nights. Slept too much. Tripped. Stumbled. Fell. Walked. Ran. Skipped. Sang. Fell silent. Listened. Gave up and gave in. Held strong and fast. Loved God. Saw God in people. Yearned for more and wanted less.
There's my year in review...kinda. Its been shortened by a lot, obviously. All I hope for next year is for more goodness, less badness. More of a chance to get to be known for the real me and not the me that people think that they know. Here's to the new year. 2010, here's to you. 2009, sorry to see you go.
btw, 10 years ago, i was 11.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

way to be emo girl.

You sang the other day.
I listened from afar,
as per normal.
It was so ironic the words,

almost funny.

You sang about a second chance.
Time to be redeemed.
loving people.
And the like.

I found it funny because you,
never gave a chance,
nor any time.
And I am not sure you can love others,
like you love yourself.

I want you to prove me wrong.
Give me the light of day
A chance for all to come clear,
and become real.
but you won't.

You're wrapped up in yourself.
Your clique.
Your mind.
Your preconceived notions.

I'm saddened that you're like the rest.
Listening without talking.
Believing without seeing.
Maybe you'll change.

Until you do, I'll sit here.
In my own quiant way.
Listening to the music that plays.
Waiting and wondering...
Hoping for a moment,
to play my song,
and hope you sing along.