Tuesday, December 27, 2011

end of year list

Well…it’s nearing the end of the year. So I thought I’d do one of those silly truths things. You know, when you list 10-15 things that not many people know. So here goes…

1. I hate going over large bridges. Like the ones I have to cross to go back and forth between Mo and NC. Terrifying. And while we’re on this, I hate bridge tunnels.

2. My favorite color is, and has always been, red.

3. I have never been kissed on New Years at midnight. Or anytime from Christmas to well into January.

4. I’m afraid of always being in the friend-zone and never getting that shot of getting out. But I’m also afraid of putting myself out there and getting shot down. I have a really hard time telling guys that I like them and always worry that they don’t like me the same/have forgotten about me.

5. My first word was duck, and my favorite animals are ducks and horses.

6. I really like sunglasses, purses, shoes, makeup, etc. But I tend to keep it on the downlow because not many people know how much of a girly-girl I am.

7. I read a lot. It helps me escape and pretend my troubles are not my own.

8. I love to act and model. It’s what I want to do with my life. It’s going to be a tough row to hoe, but I really think I can make it and I can’t wait till I can afford to take real classes and expand and grow.

9. I want to travel. In the US, out of it. It doesn’t matter to me. I’d like to have that one great roadtrip with friends to remember always.

10. I’ve never taken a guy to any family gatherings. No Thanksgivings, Christmases, New Years. Not even a 4th of July party. Not because I’ve never wanted to, but because they’ve always made other plans or because I’ve been single.

11. I’ve never had a boyfriend that has had facial hair. If you haven’t caught on yet, I’m in a little hopeless romantic/sappy mood…

12. I talk to my animals. Really thankful they can’t talk because then all my secretes would be told.

13. Even though I’m the oldest in my family, I’ve always felt overshadowed by my younger sisters.

14. I love video games, MTG, comics and other ‘nerd’ things. I will rarely admit it out loud.

15. I didn’t think I’d make it this far! Last one, hm. I don’t think I’m funny. I’ve never been funny on purpose and I can’t tell a joke.

So there we go. There are my truths of the year. It is what it is and that's sort of where I am right now.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

end of semester again

It has been quite awhile since I last blogged. Basically I just got busy with school and projects and lots of down lazy time in which I didn't feel like typing out what I felt or thought. Now that the semester is at an end, it's time to reflect and wonder what's going to happen next.

Overall, this wasn't a terrible semester. My classes were hard, and that caused a lot of stress. I did enjoy my counseling classes, like always. Hopefully I managed to pass everything so I'll eventually graduate. Which may or mat not happen anytime soon. It's a big mess...it'll work out.

Other than school stress, brief over view, got an agent, found a sweet guy- don't know where that is going, camaro still broke, became a board member of a rescue, taking two dogs back to mo. That pretty much sums up everything else. It's been exhausting.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What a day. Amazing Glee episode, amazing care package from home, amazing talks with friends.
I'm in a really great, girly mood.

Really hoping to hear back from an agency this week. Cross them fingers!

I really can't think straight to blog correctly right now. So, this is all. :)

Sunday, October 30, 2011


It has been a super busy October. Between classes, work, planning for the costume party and then the party, I'm pretty sure I lost time somewhere in there. It feels like it went by too fast. There were a lot of frustrations this month, mostly revolving around people not living up to what they said they'd do and others just not getting the hint. But all in all, it was a decent October.

This year to the costume party I went as a zombie. I got several good comments about it and lots of 'that looks real!' Which is what I always aim for. I'd rather look realistic than cheesy. Currently, I sit nine minutes away from Halloween. It's my most favorite holiday and I am quite excited for it tomorrow! Love it. I love the feeling in the air. The frights, treats and ghouls. It's an all around great time.

I was going to go into a couple of the things that have been bothering me, but now that I've talked about Halloween and the fact that it's so close, I don't want to. I'll save that for a post for another time.

I can't wait to be home for Halloween and help out at my mom's house. But I am really sad about not being able to spend it with my friends here at school. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get some friends to go with me to the haunted house in town. I've never been in the four years here, and always have wanted to. They all went earlier this month, but maybe they'll want to go again? I can hope right? Got to watch all the Halloweentown movies today, and hopefully will be able to watch many more scary movies tomorrow. I'll have to remember to pick up some candy tomorrow too! Life is always better with some fun sizes candies around.

Halloween has always been a special holiday to me. I've always loved dressing up as someone other than myself and being able to wander the streets at night with my friends enjoying the fall weather. I don't know if I can describe the feeling as anything other than magical. It just feels like everything is right in the world and happy. Much better than any other holiday in my opinion.

Well, that's all folks....
Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

C'est la vie

This week is Fall Break. It really started back on Friday, but I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday at a youth convention. It was pretty nice, I like being able to help others with some work and talking to kids about my school. I got pretty close to the girls who went and we had a great time.

Crafting has picked up a fair bit. Cranked out a couple of hats and a Spheal. For those who don't know what that is, it's a really useless pokemon that I find super adorable. Tomorrow I'm going to finish the paper mache that I started today and hopefully get a couple mustangs done for the student life 'store.' I haven't finished a bunch of projects and probably should finish them, but I feel no need to. Maybe, if I finish them I'll be more motivated to do other things?

Right now my mind is really scattered. I had thought I was going to meet a friend for coffee or something today, never happened. It's mostly disappointing because I know it's one of the few chances I'll get to maybe have a relationship with someone off campus. But I understand being busy and such. C'est la vie. Maybe something else will come along.

I'm supposed to go to Hickory this Saturday to meet a dog that the rescue I work for is considering taking into the Battle Buddy program. It's a five hour drive, which is something I was not counting on. Hopefully I can find someone to go with me so the drive will be more bearable. I'm excited to go, but not at the same time.

Sending more pictures off this week. I really hope something takes.

Friday, October 7, 2011

hand holding

Sometimes I wish I had someone around to hold my hand and tell me I'm pretty. Sure, my friends and I will goof around and hold hands and stuff, and yeah, they tell me I'm pretty. But it's not the same as having someone who is there to get to know you inside and out, who wants to know the good and bad and in between....having them tell you you're pretty, is totally different.

This may come off as really vain. I don't mean it to.

There are lots of times I look at the couples around me, and trust me, there are plenty, and I wonder, how did they manage to find each other while I'm still here alone? Then starts the, "Am I repulsive to guys?" "Am I really that bad of a person?" "That not interesting?" "What is so wrong with me?" I know these are irrational, and that I should be patient and wait, because good things come to those who wait and God knows what he's doing by not placing a significant other in my life. But I really would like to watch movies with someone to turn to during the good parts and say things to, to share walks with and to talk about random things with. It'd be swell to have someone that'll call just to see if I want to go to the aquarium that day.

I feel like this is starting to sound like the plot of a chick flick. Too bad there isn't a musical number that will spontaneously occur. I can dream right?

Oh, to have a love like Audrey and Seymour, Janet and Brad, Rachel and Finn.....

But I'll wait. Like I'm supposed to. And let these hand holding wishes pass like they always do.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Tonight was great! Got to go out to Tres, a great mexican restaurant, with a a couple friends- one old, one new. And then listened to a brilliant story teller and their tales of travel. It was....great. just great. Any way, that's all I have time to update on. I really need to get to bed to be ready for chapel in the morning :)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

More dog like

Last night I had a dream that my family came to my graduation. I'd been expecting them and was anxiously awaiting their arrival out by the swings on campus. then they pulled up and got out of the car, I started to walk towards them and then my grandma stepped to the side and out bounded my Harley. I called to him and got a look very similar to this:
And then when I called again, he started to run like this:

He ran to me and jumped up, it was the happiest feeling ever. All his wiggling and licking and barking, and just having him near. Yeah, it was great to have my family there too, but, my dog. The embodiment of unconditional love and inability to judge. The pure joy that is a small dog. Sometimes I wonder if God gave us dogs so that we could have a glimpse into the joy that He has when we turn to Him. Or if they are here to show us how to act towards one another. The Bible says that whenever someone confesses their faith in God and Jesus, the angels rejoice along with Him. I don't picture angles and saints dancing around blowing trumpets when a person turns to God. I picture a dog waiting at the dog for it's master and the pure joy the dog expresses as soon as their person walks in the door. The slobber laden kisses, jumping and butt wiggling. That's the kind of joy I think of when a person becomes saved. Pure, uninhibited joy.
And if they are here to teach us how to act, they show us how to be friends with others, to forgive mistakes, live in the moment and to never give up. Sure, there are some dogs that don't like others, but there are always exceptions to the rule. But in the most part, my dog has never met a stranger. He loves everyone regardless of their past, how they look or what they may do. He never holds a grudge if I mess up, trip over him and he doesn't judge me when I fail. He's always in the moment. Dogs live in the now and don't worry about tomorrow. And they never give up waiting on you. Hachi waited nine years for his owner to step off of a train to walk home with him like he had done for years before. He didn't know that his owner had died. Every day, he waited. He never gave up that his owner was going to go home with him. That's what dogs do. They keep the faith that you will return home to them and they'll forgive you for the length of time that you were gone and be just as happy to see you as ever.

I can't wait to go home and see Harley. I wish he could come for my graduation, that would make my day. But just knowing that he's at home, waiting for me to return is enough for now. I miss him terribly. And I hope that over time, I become more dog like in how I treat others.

Monday, September 26, 2011

bunny trails

It's late. I'm up because someone in the dorm keeps bouncing a ball and I can hear it. Thud. Thud. Thud. I'm pretty sure I have a super power and it's hearing. But only when I'm in a concrete building. Otherwise, hearing is pretty much lost.

This weekend has been a long one. I've really been missing my puppy and kitty. Which makes me feel kinda lame and homesick at the same time. Did find a cute dino costume for my dog to wear next year! It's going to be so weird to be home for the holidays. I'm not sure how I'm going to react to being home. To not going to school in the fall.

On a bunny trail, I have another agency I'm trying to get with. Hopefully that takes off. I keep trying to think positive about it. I really want it to happen. really, really badly.

Now I've lost all track of thought and rereading what I've already written didn't help much either. Ah well. Halloween is coming up and I'm in charge of the costume party at school. Pretty stoked about it and all the ideas I have for it. I really hope it comes together like it is in my mind.

my nails are painted pink. watched jurassic parks 1-3. pro and conning relationships. and that folks, finishes what's on my mind.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


I've recently learned tunisian crochet, and I'm hooked! It's simple, relaxing, and looks really cool. I'm currently working on a little project for a dear friend of mine and I really hope that she likes it. Other than that, made a Green Lantern hat and another beanie. Going to start on another beanie sometime this week. I thought I was going to have time this weekend, but forgot how much work SNL is so that didn't get started.

Beyond crochet, and SNL, not a whole lot has been happening. Really wishing I could head back to the beach. I love being near the sea.

That's pretty much it folks.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Black Conch

I found this at the beach today. It was rolling in the waves and I just barely caught it as it went past me. I like it because it's not the traditional white and pink conch. It's a really pretty black with brown in it, like a tortie cat. Currently it's residing on the shelf above my bed next to a clam shell.
Back to the beach. It was a mostly good trip. Someone I hadn't invited decided to invite themselves along. I wasn't thrilled, partly because I find it rude to invite yourself to things and secondly because then most of the time was spent listening to them complain about everything and suck the fun out of it. I wanted a super relaxing day and got a stressful time. Maybe next trip it'll go according to plan.
Currently I've been in a pretty sucky mood. A lot of things from back home have been weighing on me and it hasn't gotten any better. The sand and surf did a bit, but I feel like it'll take a few more days of being out there for it to have any real effect. Maybe I just need to buck up and get over it. Or crochet an afghan. I don't know. I tried to have a heart to heart with a friend last night and it backfired on me today. I tired to explain how lonely and alone I felt and how I wanted to be around people, yet it always seem like they don't ever want to be around me. That's vaguely how I feel. I almost constantly feel alone, like I have no one I can really depend on and no one to share what I'm thinking or feeling with. And those who say that they are there for me always seem burdened or busy when I need them most. And then there's the always alone thing. I like my alone time, but I like being surrounded by friends too. I love being social and having everyone around. I like being able to connect and laugh and everything. That's why I love going to college fairs and events. I love being around people. But everyone assumes I hate it, so I don't get to be around people a lot. Granted, I don't like being around certain people, which is probably where that comes from. But I don't want to force people to be around me. I just... I want to feel wanted and needed and included. I want to be heard without judgement or only half-listened to. One day it'll be my turn right?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sometimes, when I look around at all the couples, it saddens me. Not a whole lot, but just enough for me to question what it is that's so terribly wrong with me as a person that I drive the opposite sex away. I know part of it is because I'm "too picky"...but that can't be the entire problem can it? I am a difficult person at times, it's true and I fully acknowledge and accept my flaws. It could be beginning of the year blues, seeing every one start new things, new classes, new friends, new faces, new jobs, new lives...and I feel stuck in the same old rut. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm one of those people that's meant for the single life. That lifestyle doesn't appeal to me. Other times I wonder if there's some pheromone that is keeping me in the 'friend zone. It seems like every time I even consider dating a person, a huge roadblock pops up. Other relationships, distance, their interest, life, school, etc. Sometimes it's enough to make a girl cry. I really don't want to come off as one of those horribly sappy girls, and I'm honestly not. It's just really frustrating to me. Why is it every other person around me gets to be in a relationship? I've watched my friends get married, have babies, go in and out of relationships, all while I sit and watch them. I've listened to the recounts of the first dates, kisses, fights and breakups. I've calmed fears, celebrated with, gave my ears to listen and shoulders to cry upon. When will it be my turn again? It's been a really long time since I've had anyone to hold hands with.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sunday sunday

Yesterday, I got destroyed in Scrabble. First time in a long time that happened. In my defense, I wasn't paying much attention, was tired and was eating at the same time. So...I could have won?

Today I went to a new church with a friend. Kind of liked it, but it reminded me a lot of the church that I used to go to and sometimes miss. May consider going again, but I don't know. I'm not big on going alone. Anyway, it was nice. Got all gussied up in a dress. Now I'm bumming around in sweats waiting for the call to go dogsit. At least I'll be able to get some homework done and maybe even get ahead.

Hopefully later today I'll be able to finish up the red on the rug I'm making. If not that, then finish cutting the strips for the big rug I'm working on. I almost fogged the rug because I started the pattern wrong, but you can't tell unless you look hard and know the pattern.

Not a whole lot of deep thinking has been going on lately. Just trying to give some things up and focus on the bigger picture. It's really hard sometimes, but it's getting easier.

I have an hour left before the call. I think I'll go down stairs and get some squares done. That seems like a good way to spend some time :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


There are times at this school where I feel as if I'm not given the chance to grow to my full potential because others are not able to see me in that light. There are times at this school where I feel the actions of others destroy any hope of bringing something from terrible to great because others cannot see how it can happen. There are a lot of times where I feel taken advantage of, left out, ignored, trodden on, deflated, hopeless, lost and wandering. I cannot pin all of those on others, and will readily accept my fair share of fault, but there is no possible way that I am at full fault for everything. And I feel that way. I feel as if others say that it is completely my fault and I should just accept that I'll never be given any real leadership positions. Do they not know that I have received many awards for leadership? Do they not know of the seminars, workshops, camps, classes and experiences I have been given on leadership? How do they not know? I miss the days when I was allowed to lead. When I wasn't questioned and when I had a good idea I was allowed to run with it. Now it just seems like every door is slamming shut in my face.

This is an amazingly sad post. At least in my eyes it is.

I just want to grow. And I can't frow if I'm never given the chance to. I want to help others to grow too, but how can I do that if I'm not given the chance to lead?

Monday, August 15, 2011

end of summer

I'm a terrible summer blogger. But you all know that. This will probably be my last post before I head back to school for my last year. It's kinda crazy how it feels like just a week ago I was making the trip to the Midwest. And it just hit me how much I'm going to miss being here. Even with all the ups and downs of the summer, I am going to miss it. I think most of all, I'm going to miss working at the rescue. I love being able to go and hang out with the dogs and know that they will listen to whatever nonsense I have to say. I'm going to miss going into the pens and get mauled with kisses and unconditional love. While I'm gone at school, I'm not going to stop working with the rescue. I'll still be doing the online stuff, the Facebook Page, Online store, E-mails, etc. But I won't have the contact with the dogs. It sucks. Luckily, it won't be for long because as soon as finals are over, I'll be back with the dogs. All of this hit when I was working on the latest design for the Cafepress online store. It's a picture I took of Maverick, one of the battle buddy dogs. I'm going to miss that goofball most of all. Here's a short story why:

This summer, we took the dogs to the town picnic for training and exposure (read pr). At one point the first night, the other person had to go talk to someone and I was left with Maverick sitting and watching the people. Earlier that night, I had seen someone watching us and it made me nervous, but I didn't pay much mind to them because we were in a crowd. Well, while we were sitting there, that person approached us. Now, if you know Maverick, you'd know he's never met a stranger and loves all people. But I was nervous about this. He picked up on my emotions and stood in between me and the other person until the person left. He wasn't aggressive, mean or anything. He just stepped in between us and leaned into my legs. To a dog lover, that is love. He was keeping me safe. Nothing happened between me and the person, but Maverick's presence made me feel a lot safer and better.

I'm going to miss him and all the other dogs and cats. Almost as much as I'll miss my Harley and Suzy and horses. I'm going to miss animals more than people! I guess that shows what kind of person I am. Anyway, I had better end this before I get even more teary eyed and start to really shed some tears. There's still a lot of packing to be done. I'm not looking forward to packing. It's even worse than driving. Till I get to the East, over and out.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

that sucks.

Well, tonight was a huge disappointment for me. After weeks of happiness, it all fell through. Knew it was going to happen, but I was hoping for it to be on my terms. Oh well. Thanks to a dear, good friend I got the feelings off my chest and was validated that I wasn't the one at total fault. Now I guess I'll just focus my energy on packing for school and surviving the week. I just...I'm at a loss and quite frustrated. I really hope that this last year in college goes well. I really need it to.

Speaking of school. I found the grad school I want to go to and talked to the admissions person in the department I'm going to enter. They are really positive about it and all looks good. Plus, I may even have a roommate and be able to get an apartment instead of commuting every day! Yay!

So that's where I'm at. I need to pack up my clothes, movies, books, craft things and shoes. I need to get my car in order for a two day trip. And I need to get my heart and mind in shape. This was a disappointing night, but tomorrow is going to be so much better.

Sunday, August 7, 2011


I honestly do not understand my family sometimes. Not the part that I only see four times a year, but the ones I'm stuck living with. After I returned from Kansas, I was told that I was rude, mean and ungrateful. All of which I don't understand considering I cleaned the house, washed all the dishes and mowed the yard the day after I returned. Now we're back to the fact that I've been going out at night to hang out with friends before I leave for school. Which is now a bad thing even thought I've been told all summer to go out with them and "be a normal person." What is with all of these double standards?! Just now I was told that I needed to go and get dog food. I said, "Well, I'll do that tomorrow when I go into town then." The reply, "You are so ungrateful. What is wrong with you? You should do it now and get it done." What? I said I had planned to do it tomorrow. The dogs have more than enough to get them through the next four days so it's not like they are going to starve. Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe I'm just noticing their crazy. I'm just not a fan of all of this. Hopefully tonight will be a good one. I don't know if I can stand doing nothing again.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

catching up

It's been a while. Not sure how long because I didn't go and check the date on the last blog. I'm going to say that the posts have slowed because of summer. Which they very well have. It's quite difficult to keep up when your internet makes you cry on a near daily basis. Plus, there really isn't anything to report. My summer has been all work and very little play. When I'm not at the store, I'm at the rescue. It's busy, but I like it.I'm currently doing a fair bit of research into psych dogs and that stuff. It may be the area I want to pursue provided my acting career dies out.

This weekend I'll be doing a 3k. I know that isn't very far and everything, but I'm doing it after no exercise this whole summer, in 90 degree weather at 8am. Oh, and I'm taking a service dog with me. Yup. There's this town picnic too and I'll be taking two service dogs with me there. That's going to be tons of fun for me! Yesterday we pulled out the kiddie pool at the rescue and got a few of the dogs out to play in the water. That ws great fun, however I did end up soaked!

Really isn't much else to report. I've been doing up a bunch of mice and have worked out a sweater pattern for dogs. First one was for a chihuahua and when I get time to load the pics I will. So that's all. If you would, it'd be sweet if you could like our facebook page. :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


so that's the like box for the rescue i'm working with this summer. it's been really great working with them.
also, there's a cafepress shop that i set up for them. if you
want to go there click here. it's pretty neat and i'm pretty
proud of it. anyway, if you have a facebook, please go and 'like'
the page. i'd really appreciate it. thanks!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


The new page for the rescue I work with is up! After a week of dedicated, hard work and lots of slobber on my camera- it is done! If you would, take a moment, look at the page and all the cute faces and then 'like' it. Here is the link Dog's Nation Thanks!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


America's Favorite Animal Shelter Contest - help your animal shelter win $15,000 - vote today!

If you have 30 seconds vote for Dog's Nation please!
This is the shelter that I help out at and they could really use this.
We're a nokill shelter working with mostly pit bulls, but have many other
dogs and cats that are waiting for their forever homes.
So be a doll and vote!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

not a storm fan

At this precise moment, it is storming outside. I'm not talking the light rain occasional thunder kind of storm but the pretty sure the trees are laying sideways, raining harder than ever pretty sure I'm not going to see daylight again type. I may be exaggerating, but not by much.
I am not a storm person. I never have and never will be. Rain does not soothe me and I cannot fall asleep to it. Instead, it wakes me up and causes me to radar watch like a paranoid person. I don't sleep and can't relax. What's setting me on edge right now is that my radar screen won't appear. It's killing me. I have it on my desktop but all that's happening is that silly "loading" screen. Come on! A girl has got to know what color she's in!

Granted, this rain is only supposed to last till 2am. It's currently 12:19 am and it's not supposed to do anything but gust, rain and thunder. This isn't calming to me.

A normal person would have check the weather, noticed when the watches went off and gone to bed. Maybe turned the weather radio up a little bit, fluffed the pillow and drifted off knowing that if anything bad was to happen they'd wake up and be okay. Not I, oh no, not I. I don't have a weather radio, I know, dumb. Working on it. I have online weather, phone weather and text alerts. I've become an expert at reading radar, still and moving. Can decipher most weather related jargon and can 'feel' a storm hours away.

Hour and a half left of this. Instead of rambling on with my many paranoid thoughts, I'm going to let this go and study my maps. I hate storms.

Friday, June 17, 2011

sunflowers and oh did i tell you...

This week has been crazy. My work hours have picked up so I've been kept busy there. And when I'm not there I'm working on various papers for the rescue where I volunteer. That's pretty much a job within itself. Beyond that is the garden and animals. Whew. It's a wonder I'm still up right now. Work has been going pretty well. I enjoy my job and I can honestly say that my arms have gained some muscle mass from lifting all those groceries! I don't really have much else to say...I have a couple little peppers coming in and a few tomatoes. My sunflowers are coming up in full force and I'm excited to see them bloom. I did have one of the ones that I started at school survive to bloom. That was pretty cool to see. In fact, here's a picture of it....The center has darkened a little bit since I took this picture. This was on the first day that it fully bloomed. Hopefully I'll be able to get a couple newer pictures done.
Hmm...what else...
Oh yeah, I'm going to be in a movie! Yeah! As an extra and a body double. I'm naturally super excited about this. I go to film next weekend! Going to be a famous movie star before we know it lol

Friday, June 10, 2011


It's starting to storm right now. The lightening has started and so has the rain. Soon, there'll be thunder and more rain and maybe hail. I'm hoping that there won't be hail because my poor little plants wouldn't survive. Last thing they need is a ton of rain too. I've just started carrots and more sunflowers...kinda hope they don't drown. There's really no place for me to move them too either. Sigh. I hope they live.

Beyond the rain worry, work has been going well! It's been nice to see a few customers that I know and getting to catch up with them. Tonight was a crazy night. First, spaghetti busted in my lane. Then I was checking out the Cherry Mash display at the end of my lane and the entire display fell into itself. After I taped it back up and started tossing the candy back into it, it fell apart again! Then more busted spaghetti and a whole mess of not being able to open bags. It was just a weird time. So glad to be done for a few hours. Tomorrow is my long shift and I'm hoping that the time will just fly by.

Lately I've been thinking of canning. I really want to try my had at it. Pretty sure my first attempt will be with cherry jam, since I have a cherry tree in my yard and it's time for those to be picked. Then maybe peaches and or pears. I considered pickles, but that's not immediately gratifying. I did find a good zucchini pickle recipe that I may try someday. This summer seems to be my summer of homemaking. Not only am I attempting canning, but I'm working on making a few rugs and coasters. Even got some nice heavy fabric to wrap a cat tree that is in the planning stages. Oh me. I hope everything pulls together for all of it to happen!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

summer list

Things I really should do this summer (because saying I need to do them makes them feel too aggressive)

  • Pictures, pictures, pictures.
  • Figure out how to dress like a hipster.
  • Get my tomatoes in line. They look sad.
  • Sunflowers!
  • Rearrange my books and (gulp) give a few away.
  • Work as much as possible to pay for pictures.
  • Decide on Rp or Images.
  • Exercise. It's for the dog, really.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

ah summer

Since I've been home, I haven't crocheted. I want to, but every time I pull out my yarns and my hooks, I get the look of "what the heck are you doing." That slight disapprovement keeps me from doing it. Not from thinking of it, just from actually doing it. I have so many projects I want to do, okay like three, and projects for fall I need to get started on. I just don't like that...look. Anywhere else, park, school, theater, etc. I can craft anywhere but my own home. How messed up is that?

anyway, I finally got my flower bed built. Naturally I'm super proud of it and no one else is impressed. The only thing I didn't do for it is cut the boards. I did however use a hand saw- see old non-electric saw- to cut them to length. Planted the flower half of the garden tonight after work and a few patio tomatoes with marigolds. Soon I'll be adding some carrots in a pot, big tomatoes, bell peppers and sunflowers. I haven't started working on garden part two yet; mostly because of time and the fact I haven't bought the grass guard yet. It's pretty much going to be a sunflower area. Mammoths 8-10 ft and dwarfs 3-4 ft. I'm more excited about that. And I'm able to give some sunflowers to my mom later this summer.

Thought I saw a mouse. Nearly just screamed bloody murder.Thankfully it was a shadow.Whew.

Work at the grocery store has started for me. It's nice being at work and not being followed every moment of the day. I like my job a fair bit. I know not many people say that about being a cashier, but I do. I get to meet different people every day and see regulars. I get to practice my listening skills, math and critical thinking skills. Like today, I got a little girl to stop screaming and to bring her little cart of groceries to me so I could check them out by using suckers. Granted, anyone can get a kid to do anything with candy, but it was pretty cool.

It's ten o'clock. I must be getting old, for I am tired already.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Trip back

If you haven't heard, I've made it back to the place called home. While red slippers didn't get me here, a red car did. It was a fairly uneventful trip. Only hit stand still traffic once, and thanks to my great luck was stuck behind two cattle trucks for that time period. It's not that I hate being stuck behind them because of the smell. I can handle that. It's how disgusting my windshield gets. One of the scariest things that happened involves my windshield. For some reason while I was driving through Nashville, every cicada in the area decided that they wanted to fly down the highway in the opposite direction. I was not expecting this so when the first one hit my car, I screamed. And not the little girl, "Oh help! A spider! Big burly man come save me!" kind of scream. I mean the blood curdling, someone just got stabbed kind of scream. Not that it really mattered because I was the only one in the car and no one could hear me. The difference still needed to be made. That was terrifying. Giant bugs hitting windshields is not fun.

So now that I'm back, not much else has been accomplished. I'm on a crochet break until I get my room straightened out and find all my yarn again. About all I've done is transplant my sunflowers, empty my car and create a walking path from the door to my bed in my room. Yup. That's it. Oh and discover the joy of watching a cat chase a laser light. That's real fun right there, mmhmm. Tomorrow is going to be eventful. I'm headed down to Joplin with the rescue I help with to retrieve a couple dogs who don't have a home to stay in with their families. I'm excited about the chance to help out. Specially since it's in my area and it's something I am passionate about. Also, get to talk to the new boss at my work about getting my job back for the summer! Yeah! I don't foresee any problems with that, but you never know. If that falls through, my hope remains with an interview in KC with an agency. Let's just cross our fingers on both of those...

So, that catches us up to now. Now it's 11:55, which feels like 12:55. Amazing how one hour can make a ton of difference. When I went from Germany to US and visa versa, no jet lag. NC to AZ/CA, nada. Eastern time to Central, walking dead. Crazy. Well, I'm off to slumberland to get ready for tomorrow. Fare thee well!

Monday, May 23, 2011

What a nice weekend.

This has been an eventful weekend. Let's start on Saturday.
Saturday was the Potato Festival here in grand ol' E-City. It was basically your typical small town fair with the music, stands, rides and greasy not good for you but very delicious food. I was there to help with my college's stand. It was pretty cool. We had a beanbag toss set up (for some reason here it's called corn hole...I don't get it...), a jar of candy and a bunch of fake tattoos to give out. Quite a few people stopped by to talk to us. All in all it was a pretty eventful day. After all the fair jazz, my dear dorm parents and I spent some time together talking...that sounded super weird after I typed it. Maybe it's just my inner voice reading that weird. Anyway, it was a very nice evening with them and I am super thankful for them and how wonderful they are.
Bringing it around to Sunday. Yesterday, aka Sunday, was my roommate's wedding. It was in a little church filled with many people. She was beautiful and her guy was pretty spiffy too. The reception was fun too. Got to see many people that I won't until August, have some cake balls and get a little dance on. Have to say one of the funnier parts was when they tried to leave. The groomsmen had hiked the groom's tracker up on blocks, so they couldn't leave. It was great fun, even when they managed to leave. I'm super happy for the both of them and wish them all the best.
Now let's touch on Monday...today. Today was filled with packing. Managed to get my room packed up and cleaned in record time. I'm really thankful for two friends who are letting me store a few things at their house. There's only one, maybe two more trips that need to be made to the car with stuff, but the majority is stuffed into my tiny little camaro. It's kinda amazing how much will fit in there. Tomorrow morning I'll start the drive back home. Right now I'm playing the "where to stop" game. I really want to get as far as I possibly can in one day so the next day it won't be so long. Also don't want to wear myself out on the first day, so it's a big back and forth. The major worry is the weather and hopefully it won't rain. Scattered thunderstorms are called for in two of the major cities I'll be driving through...so not thrilled about that. Let's just hope that it's sunny skies both days. And that my car doesn't give me any trouble. That's another major concern. Hopefully it all goes well.

Another thought, please keep the people of Joplin, Mo in your thoughts. For up to date news on the situation there, check out ky3.com. They are reliable and a great source for news.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Remember the fabric I used for the earring holder way back when? Well, I decided instead of taking one large lump of fabric, I should make a couple small things instead. Easier to pack. Plus, my fingers were itching to make something, so I just had to. So I made two run of the mill coasters and then a couple macramé-ish bracelets. I'm pretty sure you can imagine a square of this fabric so I didn't post the coasters. So here's the bracelet!

all around

For some reason these are all sideways. I promise when I was trying to load them they faced the right way. Just tilt your head for full effect until the weird sideways pictures get figured out. Thanks!


I hate packing. It's not that I'm not good at it, have too few boxes or anything of that sort, I just hate it. It might be because I've packed up so many times before that it's just routine to me and has lost all the charm of moving to a new place. If you haven't caught it, I'm packing, slowly, to return home for the summer. I have almost cleared off my desk and have managed to pack all my books. But that's about it. The procrastinator in me is saying to wait till Friday because I don't leave till next Tuesday. The perfectionist in me wants everything a certain way and labeled. To me it is always sad to pack. I hate moving things, deciding which I won't need for a while, what to take back to not bring back to school...it's a long process.

Also, my stash only fits into one bag. Pretty sure that's a good thing, but makes me feel like a terrible keeper of yarns. It used to be two bags full. Next year, I'm hoping to bring my entire stash back...that'd be cool. And it would totally feed into my hat/glove addiction. Can't wait for cool weather to start wearing them again!

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Today was graduation at my school. It was one of those surreal days where you watch everything happen around you and it just seems to be in a weird movie haze. That could have also been because I was up till 3am talking to my roommate. Watching the graduates walk across the stage was interesting. In a year, I'll be in that same place and it seems like just a few days ago I was graduating from high school. Crazy how time gets away from us. Anyway, today was a sadish day. My roommate is officially moved out, I know this cause I helped her carry things to her car and pack them in. For me it's quite sad because I've roomed with her for the past two years and now she's gone for good. She's getting married in a week and won't be coming back to room with me anymore. On one hand, I'm sad that she's gone, but on the other I'm super happy she's found someone that treats her well and makes her so happy. She truly deserves someone who is good for her and will be with her forever. I'm going to miss her a lot. Oh, and don't believe I didn't shed a couple tears after she left. Totally did. I'm a huge bawler. For real. I cry at everything. I can blink and start to cry. It's crazy and totally annoying. To continue this, also helped move out one of my other dear friends. It's so sad to watch them all go home and not be able to leave too. I keep reminding myself that I'm here so I can watch my rooms walk down the aisle. Seems like forever from now.

Being so far away from home isn't always a good decision. I'm glad I'm here, but I miss there. And when I'm there, I miss here. I don't know what I'll do when I'm there and can't come here. Hopefully, time won't run away and make this seem like yesterday when it's a year away.

It is done.

The afghan is finished! And just in time too. It is 6'by 6' not stretched. I'm kinda proud of this and am glad that it is done and in the hands of the person who commissioned it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

straight against hate.

On occasion, I wonder where I stand on the whole gay-straight alliance-disalliance thing. Mostly because the way I look at it, most of my Christian brethren disagree with me. This is hurtful to me, because I take it kinda personally. Now, I know not a ton of people agree with me, but this is what I believe and my personal feelings on the topic. Anyway, if you're fully against homosexuality, I wouldn't read much farther unless you want to read something different.
Now that all of that jazz is out of the way...I'm not against homosexuality. I don't agree with their lifestyle choices, and I myself am straight, but I'm not against them. Frankly, I believe that if they want to do that with their life than they should be allowed to. They aren't protesting our rights to marry each other, to show affection in public or raise children. Why should straight people? All the hate and animosity that is happening isn't good for either side. In my opinion, we should love them. We don't have to accept everything about a person to be able to love them. And even greater than that, Jesus loves them. Sure, he's sad about the choices they've made, but he loves them nonetheless. Instead of telling them they are wrong, why don't we get to know them as people? Why don't we talk instead of yelling slurs? So, they may be offensive to you, but isn't cursing, sex, drug use and drunkenness in movies and life just as offensive? It's a horrible comparison, but you don't see people picketing movie theaters because of the things in the movies they show. I believe that befriending them, sharing our lives and our love with them would make a greater impact. Love is greater than hate, and it's supposed to conquer all...so why don't we try that for a while and see how it works out. To join a new movement, I'm straight and I'm against hating people of a different sexual orientation. Or s8 against h8 to be all texty and savvy.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Best night ever.

I know I posted earlier and everything, but I really just wanted to do a little blog on how awesome my roommate is. Earlier tonight she came in while I was pricing my books to sale and said "come with me." Naturally, I was skeptical but went anyway. Well, she had organized everyone together to throw me a late surprise birthday party! I was super surprised and really thankful that she's my friend. She even made me a cake! Which was awesome and super cute. Half of it is still left and it's awesome. Chocolate and orange like the chocolate oranges my mom gets me every Christmas. She's a lovely person and I am really thankful she's in my life. Best roommate/friend ever.
That's all :) Night all!

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Yesterday my friend E and I went to Pembroke Mall up in Va to see Harry Shum Jr. For those of you who don't know, he's the dancer from Glee. Yesterday, he missed his flight so we had to go back today. We did and we got pictures of him, one with him (i look not as awesome as i should have) and got things signed by him! It was fun and we had a generally good time. It was neat how we got to see him and talk and everything. Can't wait till I can meet many more people like him!!

I was going to share some pictures of my plants, however, it's going to take forever to load up those pictures so I'll save those for a separate . Plus I've got to get back to working on this afghan. I really want to get it done before Wednesday when I have to take my finals. Can't wait for school to be done and over!

Thursday, May 5, 2011


My mom got a new kitten!! It's a munchkin! Now let's all look at the pictures and hold in squeals!

Look at those tiny legs!!
My mom named it Roloff! It's so adorable!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Things I should be doing instead of blogging/being a bum:
  • Working on my research paper
  • Writing one of three minor papers
  • Redoing religion paper
  • Working on granny squares
  • Studying for algebra or counseling test
  • Finding a cure for cancer
  • Packing
  • Mothers' day cards
  • Cleaning my room
  • Doing laundry
This list is also known as the "Things I'm not doing right now because I'm having an ongoing diva moment and don't feel like doing anything but focusing on me." It's been one of those days. You know, when things don't start right from the start and then get bad and are probably okay but because things didn't go how you planned you want to just diva out about it and hold on to the feelings of "this is not okay." Since I haven't had one of these days in a long while, I'm going to declare it a-ok to have one today. Best watch out for some attitude and finger snapping. Not really. I'm more of a hold it in kinda person. I'm pretty sure some shrinks would say that's not good for a stable and healthy mind, oh well.

Anyway, I have made some progress on the afghan. It's been sewn together for a while now and last night I added in the black between the stem and cap. However, I don't have a picture of that. I do have the sewn together picture, so let's just look at that and try to ignore the scrap yarn and the orange carpet.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


This month along there are four weddings happening among the people at my college. That translates to six people who are now living in the dorm are leaving. Two of the people that are getting married are graduated, but still count. There are two more couples that are getting married later this summer. Total makes five now. To top that off, there are three other couples that I know from high school/former colleges that are getting married. Eight. Eight couples I know are getting married. Can I have a little confession time here? This makes me kinda sad and a little bit jealous at the same time. Sad because one of the couples is my roommate and I've roomed with her for the past two years and next year I won't have one. It'll be weird not having her around. Also, at bible college, it's unusual to go the entire time here not dating or getting engaged before graduation. It's a lame cliche', but unfortunately a very real one. Jealously comes in from that angle. I haven't dated the entire time I've been here, and I'm not holding my breath for next year either. and because I'm close, or was close with a few of the girls that are getting married and totally expected to be in their party and help them and everything...but I'm not. It sounds really sad and pathetic, but after seeing so many weddings happen (I've been in school for a while now) and seeing the happiness of the maids getting the bride ready and just having fun in general...I thought it'd be my turn. I know, it's weird to want to be a maid instead of a bride. But I know I'm not ready for that yet. Plus, I'd have to hunt down my dream man and convince/force him to marry me and that's just a lot of work for this gal. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be a guest and see it all happen and to share in the joy of the day and everything. It's just a little bittersweet.

Saturday, April 30, 2011


Today has been a overly lay day. And slightly frustrated. Only frustrating because I can hear my neighbor's tv over my own. Bleh. I'd ask to have it turned down, but I'm already on the bad side for asking too much. Anyway, it has been quite a lazy Saturday even though I have a ton of things to do. I did manage to complete a few minor things. I started and almost finished making necklaces for my roommate, started, haven't finished on my afghan part for the day. Did clean off my desk. Which is a big improvement. Hopefully later tonight The creative juices will start to flow so I can start compiling the research for a paper I'm working on.

It's amazing how Saturday can turn me in to a complete bum. Not that any other day is much different, but Saturdays especially make it difficult to sit down and get things done. I wonder if it is a biological response to the week, or just the day causes one to shut down. Ahm well...maybe I'll find some motivation in searching for monologues. If any one knows of any funny ones, send them my way please!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hoping for a chair

I have determined that if I get a single room next year, I'm going to find a dirt cheap comfy chair to crochet in. This chair will probably be bequeathed to a friend that I like that isn't graduating and hopefully would live it's life out in the rooms of others. I think that would be a good life for a chair. Used by many girls in a dorm for years. Plus, chairs are more lovable than refrigerators. Chairs let you sink in to them, cry out your worries, sit on the edge with anticipation, hide from the world in....chairs just rock. Anyway, I mainly want the chair because it is insanely uncomfortable to sit on my bed, or floor, to crochet for hours. It's great for two hours and less projects, but my massive projects are less fun. Next year, if I get a single room, I'll have an entire section devoted to crafting and reading and daydreaming.

Right now I am 26 days, give or take one, away from being back home. I'm excited and apprehensive about it. There are a lot of great things that are happening this summer that I am really excited about, but I hate leaving the area where the majority of my friends are. It sucks being so far away and knowing that there isn't a chance for them to visit, not that I would have time to entertain anyway. I'm also 24 days, give or take, away from driving across country. Which makes me nervous because my dear old car is on it's last legs I believe. She's held up for many cross country and cross town trips. But she's getting old in age and I'm not the best at keeping up with her problems, or even noticing when there are problems. Hopefully everything will hold together long enough to get me home.

In the crafting scene, I finally finished all the white for the 1-up afghan and sewed it all together. This weekend I'll be working on the stem and the outline and hopefully next week will have the time to finish what I don't on Sunday and get it sewn up by Friday. I'm excited to get this done! Oh, I also made this headband thing. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but am wearing it now...only cause I found it while I was rearranging my hats and needed some inspiration to do my math homework. It worked. Maybe I should put on headbands more often....it might make my work disappear.

My line got used!!!

I'm fully aware that you might not be able to see the whole thing, but I submitted this line last night and it got used!! YAAAAAYYYY!!!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fellow crafters, if you haven't stumbled upon this gem, you should go there now.

that is all.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Tons of green!

I finally finished the green for the giant afghan of doom! Well not really of doom, but that's it's current nae because it's taking a while. Mostly because I'm lazy and get distracted easily. Anyway, after I redid the math for it, this thing is going to be over 6 ft long and just under 6 ft wide. It's currently residing on my roommate's bed because it's still Easter break here and she's at home. it's already wider than the twin sized bed. Woot! Now to get the white done and sew the top together. Then it's black and sewing that together. Anyway, here's the picture of the monster on the bed. I'm so happy to be done with green!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

My hooks

I'm a huge nerd. I can't deny it so I have learned to embrace it. To add to my geekiness, I am a huge crafter or diy-er. I love making all sorts of things. And I hold the tools of what allow me to craft very precious to my heart. So, while taking a break from a giant project- really. It's huge. I'll end up bigger than me. - I took some pictures of some of my most prized possessions. The hook case was given to me by my dorm mom and fellow crafter. I love it so and can't wait till I fill every slot to the gills with hooks! I do love my hooks and case and notions...

Yes, that is a giant empty tub in the background
that once was filled with cheese balls. My
roommate and I are addicted to those things...

I love to craft! And I can't wait to show the pictures from this massive project I'm working on!

Saturday, April 23, 2011


One of the biggest things I advocate for and support are animal adoptions and shelters. I believe that before anyone goes out to buy a dog, they should check out their local shelters and online for their pet first. I also believe that animal rights are overlooked and should be at the forefront of an animal owner's mind. That being said, I am happy to say that I will be helping out at the Second Chance Barnyard this summer! This is an amazing place in the town where I live. They really do a lot for abandoned, puppy mill rescues, lost and just generally homeless animals. All of my dogs, at least the ones I can remember, and all the cats have been rescues. They are the best and every day I'm thankful for them. I'm really distracted while I write this so I'll write more on this topic later when my thoughts aren't so scattered. I am really excited to be working at Second Chance and Zenawood and even the grocery store this summer. Can't wait!

The rescues in my life:
Harley and Suzy napping

Suzy, my rescue cat

Buddy. The calmest dog I've ever known.
Unless fireworks are going off, then all bets are off.

My constant companion, Harley.

Huxley. This little boston was rescued this summer.
He is now spoiled by my sister.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Ok, to add onto the crafting things that have been happening. For a while I alluded to a super secret project that I was working on. And now I finally get to show it off on here. Yay! Here they are, the dobbin horses of secrecy! I made five and each has their own little personality :) However, not all five are pictured here cause I didn't get pictures of all of them. Well, I did. Some just ended up super blurry and such. So here are the good pictures!
Yay! There they are! I liked them a lot and enjoyed figuring out how to attach them to sticks and form the face and bridle and hair. It was fun. And now that it's over, it's on to granny squares and random mini projects. I saw some crochet beaded jewelry that I really liked and as soon as I find my lace hook I will try my hand at that.

Not much else is happening. Open dorms are tonight so at some point I guess I'll clean up my craft explosion so it'll be presentable. My sunflowers are quite tall now and soon a couple of them will go to live with a dear friend of mine and a couple others will go to reside outside. I have this one wimpy stemmed one that I feel bad for as it's getting crowded out by all the others. It's so sad looking, but that just means it's going to be like Rudy right? A wimpy little thing that no one thinks much of until it grows into what it's supposed to be? I have to say I am still quite proud of my little cati that are growing pretty well. Do need to pick up some sand at some point...luckily I live close enough to the beach for that to not be a problem. Ah...well, I think it's time to try to work on some cleaning. Till later...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Earlier this week something awesome happened that all I can really say about it is wait till summer to find out more. Unless you already know, then well...you know. Anyway, tonight I decided to make a long overdue object for a friend. So here's Gomer...the fuzzy hipster zombie thing...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

thank goodness

So everything worked out so far. I'm pretty much thrilled that it has and that everything will work out this weekend. Whew. It was a nerve wrecking time. Now I'm just nervous about the going and doing the right things and saying the right stuff. Less horrible than the other stressing. What's weird is there's this calm almost peace like air that has settled. Crazy.

The super secret project was finished last night! Yay! I'm really happy with the way that they turned out and that the people who they were for love them. I took a few pictures of them and when I edit out the background mess of my room I'll post them up. I also made a little bunny while I was doing the Worship Simply thing. It was quite cute. Right now it looks like a yarn monster threw up in my room. Guess that'll be my project for the day haha

Right now, there isn't a bunch else. Picking out colors, organizing yarn and craft things, and just general laziness is ruling this Saturday. I'm hoping one of my friends will stop by so we can get our Glee on with my new game :) Yup. Fun times over here!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Flowers and rings!

Here's the latest project that was completed! In crochet circle, we all are doing little flowers and putting them on stems and in pots. This is what mine looks like and I can't wait to see what everyone else's looks like!

In between projects tonight, I thought I'd make a few button and wire rings. Mostly because I was looking at my unmatched buttons and remembered I had wire from the flowers. So here are my rings. Please let me know if they are super cheesy before I start wearing them out in public!

The little blue one. It's almost nautical.
I liked this one cause it looked like abstract art
This one has an interesting, almost wooden texture
and is a lot lighter in color.

So there are my rings and flowers! Let me know what you think!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I got a display...

I'm currently watching the new Extreme Couponing. It makes me feel like such a failure at shopping because I'm not getting things for free or ultra cheap. It's crazy the lengths people go through to get a great deal. I mean, I coupon, and I used to think that I did a great job of it cause I haven't paid more than a dollar for cereal in a long time and I usually wait for things to go on sale or do without. Now I'm wondering what more I can do to get more savings and to just learn more skills. Crazy.

Another project has been finished! I haven't taken pictures of it yet, but will get on that tomorrow. Also started the massive afghan project and the super secret project is moving right along. Tomorrow is going to be a massive crafting afternoon as it's Thursday and it's the day that things typically come together for that. Oh! There's this worship thing going on in the chapel of my campus and a few of my crocheted items are on display there! Friday I'll be apart of it as the music plays and I crochet. I'm hoping to get a couple short projects done during that time; we'll see...

Tomorrow is also major stress day as I figure out everything budget wise for the weekend. If everything comes through as I hope it will and plan it to, I'll only be a little short, but may be able to redeem that through some other things and a lot of pleading. If I get really lucky, it'll all be okay. I really hope it happens. It's crazy, but it's going to be good if it comes together like it should.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


You know what get me slightly weepy? Text messages from my grandma that say "Miss you and love you." It just makes me miss home a little bit more. It also makes me nervous. I get nervous because if this doesn't pan out, not only am I screwed over, but others are too. In a roundabout way. I get so nervous about these things because I never know if everything is going to come together like it should in my mind. At this point I'm wishing beyond hope and prayers and dreams for this to happen.

I sound repetitive and anxious. I hate being repetitive. I just...all three sentences started with I. This is something that has been locked away for so long and now looks like it might come true and that makes me nervous because when things go up in my life they have a tendency of crashing down quickly. This is something that would thrill me if it came true fully. Even now it seems like a dream that it's happening even kinda right now. I hope it doesn't end Sunday. That Sunday is just the start and it keeps getting better.

Now I'm homesick and nervous.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Ever have one of those, put the tv on a channel that plays nothing but movies all day, veg out and get minor things done type of days? I have successfully accomplished that kind of day. I think the biggest accomplishment was the fact that my floor finally got vacuumed. Ahh...the life of a dorm resident. I did manage to get the barefoot sandals done today which I am excited to have done. Now it's either on to the top secret project (probably) or to start making squares for the afghan (not yet). Or I could finish the mug cozy I started working on (eh). Oh! I also managed to get all my Algebra homework done! Yeah! I kinda have to finish a paper on a Freud book, and one on if the Japanese involvement in WWII was fueled by their faith. Riveting topics, I know. This is also the week of mini papers and major fiscal stress as I try to get everything in line for Sunday. I'm only mildly....moderately stressed out by everything that I need to get in order before then. If everything works out right, I'll be able to do it. But if everything decides to collapse, I'm screwed. Which is what I'm afraid is going to happen. It's atypical of my life and situations so I expect nothing less. Oh me...

I'm starting to toy with the idea of either an Etsy or Artfire shop. Etsy requires a 20 cent fee for listing, while Artfire does not. However, Etsy seems to get more traffic and is more wildly known. Artfire has more of a selective crowd. I'm not sure if I'll do either one, it's just an idea to toy with for now. I'd like to get some feed back on it, if people would think it'd be a good idea and such. Feedback??

Anyway, the second round of My Future Boyfriend is on. Maybe this time I'll pay attention to the ending. Oh! Did anyone else see that Perfect Pear commented on my earring holder that I made (inspired by her DIY)?? Totally made my day :) I'm hoping to try out a couple of the earrings she has instructions for when I stumble across the materials. Okay, off to finish this movie and crafting.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

nervous nelly

Today was a mellow day of sorts. Lazy afternoon, gave way to a slightly energetic evening and a crafting night. Tonight my friend took me out to one of my favorite sushi spots and that was pretty nice. We went with a couple other friends too. Afterwards, I got down to some semi-serious crafting and finished a few more pairs of sandals. Unfortunately, I am about 24 beads from being able to finish the very last pair and am now waiting to hear what to do about that. I started thinking about starting another project or paper, but am afraid it is much to late for that now.

Not much else has been happening beyond that. Been trying to reach someone via phone with no success. I find that very frustrating as I was supposed to receive a call a while ago. I don't really enjoy this as it only adds to the stress. I'm very nervous about this weekend and all the fiscal, emotional, etcetera problems that are coming up. I'm super nervous about everything and right now just hoping that this comes together well enough so I can do this and be able to survive afterwards. Times are tough and getting tougher.

Here's to hoping tomorrow will be a calm and productive day.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


Since this post, things have been resolved, talked over and such. This is just the thoughts that have been trapped in my head for a couple days now and needed to come out. Also, this is a day old now. I'm too lazy to go back and make everything farther in the past. Just keep in mind it was written yesterday. Anyway, it's sad, so if you don't want that don't read it. Oh, and thank you to everyone who suffered through this with me and thank you all for the wishes and thoughts and everything.

Today is my first day being 23. I never really count my birthday as the start because it's like this magical day of inbetween. At least to me it is. Anyway, I'm really melancholy right now, so if you'd like to stop reading and go outside in the sun, I suggest you do that. It would probably benefit you more and it's some nice not infront of a computer time. So go. Now. Run.

Now that's over with...yesterday was m birthday- obviously. Here at school I share it with two other people. That's nice and all and I honestly don't care much about that. But yesterday was one of the worst birthdays I have in my working memory. It actually started at midnight too. Every year I stay up till midnight on my birthday, so I can greet the day at it's start. But let me back up a bit. This year a friend had told me they were going to throw a little dinner together with a few of my friends at my favorite restaurant in town. I was stoked. No one has done anything like that for me in many years so I was ready for it. I had my outfit, surprise face, everything worked out. Then at the midnight of my birthday I was told that we had not talked about when, who, etc. Naturally, I got super bummed; I had thought everything was worked out. At the same time I got asked if I was going to one of the other birthday people's dinner out on the beach. Nothing against them, the beach, or anything, but I was not about ready to go to someone else's celebration to celebrate them on my day. It sounds really childish, and I feel super childish. But I wasn't about ready to go steal their thunder. So I said no. All yesterday I heard about how I should go, how I need to go to the person's celebration to celebrate their birthday and I got to listen to wishes for them, while I was standing near and got none. It broke my heart. I mean, it was my birthday too. I should have gotten wishes and been able to get my friends together to go out to eat too. Seriously hurt. I can count the number of verbal wishes to me on my fingers and had it not been for the social networks I doubt anyone would have been aware of it. And that made me really sad. I would have asked my friends to go out to eat with me, but the person and I share the same friends and I didn't want them to have to choose between us. I didn't want to steal her joy and I didn't want to crash her party. But no one understood/stands that. So while they were all out, I made my cake, blew out my candles and sang my song. That sounds horribly pathetic and sad. No lie, it was. Only one person asked if I was ok, because I looked like a beaten puppy for most of the day. I'm thankful for being able to talk to them and their understanding. I'm thankful for my distance friends who listened to me too. The made it a little better. But, frankly, I still feel hurt by all of it and wish I had the guts to tell those that hurt me. This is as close as it gets I suppose.

There were a few redeeming factors of my day, I got calls from my grandparents, mother and father. The all sang to me which was nice. The presents my mom sent were amazing as usual. I got a Glee board game which I am excited to play, a bunch of books, clothes and a movie. Oh and truffles, perfume and candies. I got a balloon and candies from a couple on campus who I babysit for. And I got a card from my roommate. Those things made the day a little brighter. Plus extreme couponing was on. That was neat.

Overall, I know that there are people that have it a lot worse. And that I shouldn't complain or anything because of that. But I was and still am really hurt by it all. I really just wanted to be able to go out with my close friends and have a nice time. to have a few moments where it was about me and to feel like I could accomplish anything and to have my moment in the sun. I feel so pathetic being hurt by this. So pathetic.

**sidenote, in no way am i ungrateful for all the wishes and the thoughts. thanks

Subtract the wedding figures.
Add a hint of confetti and candles.
Yup. That sums it up.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Earring holder.

The other day I talked about an earring holder from The Perfect Pear. Today I was at the thrift store looking for some other things for a project and ran across this cheap frame. I was going to get some lace, but it was expensive so that idea got scrapped. However, I came across these striped pajama pants and decided that would work just as well. So, I cut to size, put it in and hung a few earrings on it! I still need to tape the fabric to the back so it doesn't sag so much, but I think it looks kinda cute. What's your say on it?