Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sometimes, when I look around at all the couples, it saddens me. Not a whole lot, but just enough for me to question what it is that's so terribly wrong with me as a person that I drive the opposite sex away. I know part of it is because I'm "too picky"...but that can't be the entire problem can it? I am a difficult person at times, it's true and I fully acknowledge and accept my flaws. It could be beginning of the year blues, seeing every one start new things, new classes, new friends, new faces, new jobs, new lives...and I feel stuck in the same old rut. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm one of those people that's meant for the single life. That lifestyle doesn't appeal to me. Other times I wonder if there's some pheromone that is keeping me in the 'friend zone. It seems like every time I even consider dating a person, a huge roadblock pops up. Other relationships, distance, their interest, life, school, etc. Sometimes it's enough to make a girl cry. I really don't want to come off as one of those horribly sappy girls, and I'm honestly not. It's just really frustrating to me. Why is it every other person around me gets to be in a relationship? I've watched my friends get married, have babies, go in and out of relationships, all while I sit and watch them. I've listened to the recounts of the first dates, kisses, fights and breakups. I've calmed fears, celebrated with, gave my ears to listen and shoulders to cry upon. When will it be my turn again? It's been a really long time since I've had anyone to hold hands with.