Thursday, December 30, 2010

animals

Tomorrow I have to put my animals back in the kennel for the weekend because I'm traveling to Kansas City and they can't come with me. In my mind, when they are in there they look something like this....

and this...
It breaks my heart to put my animals in the kennel, even though I know they are probably having a great time with the other animals and enjoying all the treats that they get. Harley barely eats when he is in there so they give him treats to get him to eat and Suzy gets them to pet her a lot because she does a really good pathetic act. It just makes me sad that I can't have them with me. I'm one of those people that would take my animals to PetSmart with me every chance I'd get if there was one near. Sadly there isn't, but they are signed up for the PetSmart Birthday Club. Sigh. I think I may like them too much. It's the saddest part of leaving for school. I hate leaving them. I also think that if I wasn't around my grandma would give my animal weight complexes. She says they are fat all the time, when in reality they aren't. They are a very normal weight, but to her that's fat. It's dumb. Anyway, My poor animals will be in the kennel. Even though they will most likely be partying, I'll be sad.


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

we're almost in kansas toto!

Thus far this break I have been in five states. In a few short days I'll hit number six and I'm quite excited about that one. I'll get to go to Kansas to see my mom, which is pretty rare for me as I see her all of three times a year. Also, I got her some pretty awesome gifts for Christmas and I'm really excited for her to see them....and to get mine. Not so thrilled about the higher chance of snow there, but whatever.

Crafting this week has picked up some. Mostly because I have gifts to finish and that's 90% of what I'm doing now. I have one special order to do, and then some stock to get done, but that's about it. However, there are going to be some cool things done for next semester and I'm really excited about it.

Speaking of excited about stuff, if you're looking for a good place to donate to, check out Villalobos Rescue Center. They are a really amazing pitbull and person rescue.

Back to crafting, yeah I'm excited about that new stuff. Also hoping that some of it will fund a new tote bag and or hook case. That'd be really sweet. Lots of dreams for it taking off.

That's about all...

p.s. congrats rooms :)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Heaven

Today was a grand day. Only because I stepped foot into a Michaels. This is one of the greatest stores ever! Plus I got a 70% off Christmas items after Christmas day and 30% off of frames! Whoot! I am so happy with the stuff that I got there, which was next to nothing, but still...I haven't been in one in forever. So now, I can really get my craft on. Last night I finished my Dad's gift, and it looks pretty snazzy. I like the way the yarn turned out and all I have left on it is running it through the wash to soften the fibers a little. Tomorrow I'll get to start some ornaments, slippers and a few more mice. Lovely times

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Home again home again

I made it back to Missouri with only minor emotional damage. I learned that night flying is not something I enjoy, airline cookies are gross and lucking out with that random hot guy sitting next to me may not be in my future. Overall, I guess it wasn't a bad trip. Detroit was cold as all get out and there was a ton of snow of the ground which made me kinda freak out that the pilot would hit black ice and we'd go skidding to our doom. I did get to see the most perfect baby snowflake while waiting to get off the death trap that flies. So cute and tiny with six pretty little points. I think the longest part was waiting for my luggage because mine always ends up being last. It was either that or the drive back. Three hours in a car after traveling all day by air seems like the longest time ever.

Luckily I have cute animals to come home to. My dear Harley was over excited to see me and Suzy the cat was excited I brought her mice. Earlier I caught them sleeping together, so that big facade they have of hating each other was thrown out of the window. Suzy is hilarious and one of these days I'm going to video her and the bag that she likes. One of these days she's going to jump in it and out of the bottom....haha Currently she's on her back beside me sleeping and Harley isn't far away snoring. According to my grandma they are never this calm when I'm away. I must have awesome animal soothing qualities.

Anyway, I have yet to put up Christmas decorations. It seems like I'm the only one that cares about it here. Christmas celebration doesn't happen on the 25th here, but rather on the 1st or any other random day. It is disappointing, but its life. People keep asking when I'm going to Kansas, and even though my answer has yet to change, I keep being told that I need to go there and I need to do this or that or the other thing. I'm sorry folks, but this is my winter break. It is set up specifically how I like it so that maximum relaxation can occur and your bickering and picking and nagging is not improving mine or anyone else's mood. Sorry, really had to get that off my chest. I've been home for not even 24 hours yet and almost everything about me has come under the microscope already. From not dating to weight, to father stuff to school, work to animals, everything has been picked on. It's tiring and I just arrived! I'd like a moment or twelve to just breathe.

Ok...breathing. So tomorrow it looks like decorations will be going up and I'm quite pleased about that because I would like to be in the spirit. I also get to go talk to my work tomorrow. I really don't want to work much, but I would like to pick up a few extra hours. Being lazy all the time bothers me. Hopefully I can get a few projects done without infusing them with the smoker's scent (my gma smokes, not me). At this point, I really hope that I get some moments to breathe and relax. I hope Santa brings me just that. And a unicorn.

Friday, December 17, 2010

John Denver,thank you

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to .....I'm leavin on a jet plane and I don't know when I'll be back again....

'Cept I do know when I'll be back. In 22 days. Just enough days to get all the loathing of snow out of my system for the year and want to come back to school for more learning. I'm packed. That much is true. At least all that I can pack tonight is packed and the rest will happen in the morning. It makes me quite nervous that I may be forgetting something. I mean, half of my suitcase is yarn and presents and extra stuff. I'm really hoping that my bag is still 50 pounds and below because I so can't afford the heavy baggage fee. But we'll see tomorrow. I don't think it is...oh the anxiety is building over the impending flight. I hope everything is in order for it. I suppose we'll see tomorrow.

On another note, the dorm is empty sans a few people. It's really eerie and quiet. But that's okay. I get to watch Elf without any interruptions. My roommate leaving was the saddest part of the day. She gave me this awesome Wreck a journal book which I hope to work on on the plane ride some. She is pretty much awesome.

As for projects over break, I plan to do a few pygmy puffs, a few mice, work on the eco-bag and probably a couple more slippers for gifts. It doesn't look like I'll be working at the store very much so I'm going to attempt to enjoy the downtime of the break. I know when I get to Kansas I won't be doing much crafting because I'll be too busy visiting family. Oh, also, if you're planning to order or contact me about prices or such, please either comment on the facebook wall (http://www.facebook.com/BexieMorseDesigns) or email me at bexiemorsedesigns@gmail.com. Well....that's all for now folks. I've got to prepare to leave on the plane.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

projecting

This is my current project I'm working on. By working on right now I mean I rearranged it and am looking at it waiting to get the energy up to start it. It is over halfway finished and I will finish it tonight. Oh...to some it might look like piles of yarn. Right now I'm making slippers! Whoot! I'm halfway through the pink pair and then the red pair is all that will be left. So far I like the pink ones the best. Tons of fun tons of fun.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Yeah Final!

Ahem. I am done with finals. I took my one final today, aced it! And may have picked up a new customer for crochet things...even though she'll be getting a few ornaments for free naturally. According to the forecast, it is supposed to snow again tomorrow. I am only okay with this because 1. I have a pizza in the freezer so I don't have to leave the dorm
2. I have lots of projects to finish. By lots I mean two.
3. I still have some hot chocolate left.

Today was a pretty exciting, besides the acing of the final. Me and my friend went to Hopeline which is this really neat thrift store. I scored a new suitcase, some unused(!) Nob Hill Yarn- two skeins of it!, and two bags full of really spiffy buttons. I'm really excited about the buttons because before I just had the normal basic colored ones and now I have all sorts of buttons to craft with! Whoot! I'm sure this just added to my old lady status, but oh well.

So the projects I'm completing now are slippers. Four pairs! I have one and a half done so far. Really needed to take a break so my little fingers don't cramp up all funny. Its the sad side affect of crocheting for too long, finger cramps. At least there's a great episode of Glee on to occupy me while I rest :)


Monday, December 13, 2010

Ornaments!

This weekend has been mildly crafty for me. We're not allowed to put up mistletoe in the dorm because of obvious pda issues (ewww) so as I was browsing one day I saw someone make one and thought, I could totally do that! And thus the mistletoe that blushes was born...
I also got into the great mood of making snowmen ornaments. Mostly because I had a bunch of white yarn that I didn't know what to do with and because they are super adorable. I ended up making six of these guys for someone! Not all of the hats turned out the same and I wish I had thought to get a picture of all the heads together...oh well...
So those were my two projects over the weekend. Besides putting mailing labels on 870 postcards for Oasis. And rearranging my book shelves so that it would look like I have less books than what I really do. Which is 90. I've read all of them at least once, and not counting school books about 10-15 of them this semester alone. Its pretty safe to say I'm kind of a nerd.

In a different subject, I saw a bunch of really cool crafty tattoos and now I kinda want another one. I don't know what I'd get, or where I'd put it, but now the idea is there and it's kinda stuck for a while.

Also, it snowed today.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

flying

I am a week away from leaving North Carolina for Missouri. I am kinda excited about it but also very apprehensive. I would much rather drive than fly, which is what I get to do this year. I don't mind flying, at any other time in the year. I really hate flying when the runways could be iced over or snowed on. I also really don't like the one bag rule because there are a lot of things I would love to be able to take home. Plus the fact I have to pack enough clothes for a month and all of them have to be clean before I leave here. It is less than ideal in my mind. I always worry I'm going to leave something important here, or my bag will get lost or any number of not good things will happen. Then there's the added stress of not having a car when I go home which means I can't drive where I want or work. All around stressing about this.

stress stress stress stress stress

Normally I would have this stress about finals. But I only have one final so I'm okay with that. Whew. Just trying to remember to breathe. On the brightside, orders have picked up a little bit. Joy.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Semester Done!

Ahhh....the end of classes. It is a pretty refreshing feeling. It looks like I only have one final next week too, which leaves a lot of open time to create and craft up some Christmas presents and things. Last night I made a cute little mistletoe thing, and tonight I hope to work up a couple snowflakes and maybe a frosty ornament or two. Tomorrow will be a much bigger crafting day because, well, it's Saturday and I have nothing else to do! Yay!

On a less happy note, the dr didn't call today so I didn't get to hear any news on my leg. Which is super sad. I was really hoping for something, but, oh well. Maybe Monday!


On to crafting! And cleaning up this huge mess I've created...lames.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

cookies.

Tonight is my last real class of dev. psy. In honor of it, I'm making these meringue cookies that I rarely make. Pretty stoked about them except for one thing...

someone touched my cookies.
while they were baking, someone decided that they know better than I do when making these cookies, and opened the oven and stuck their finger in one. It left a print. Now these are time and temperature sensitive cookies. I put a couple sticky notes on there saying just that and please do not open the oven. but someone decided they would go on and do it.
jerk.
Normally, this wouldn't really bother me except I can't go and make another batch because there isn't enough time. I also find it really stupid that because they can't keep their sticky fingers to themselves, my cookies had to suffer. It really gets under my skin when people do stuff like that because it does take a lot of work to have things turn out nicely and they just go and ruin it. I'm going to start advocating for personal ovens in the rooms. Or that Miss Sticky fingers gets her fingers chopped off the next time she does it. Whichever. Anyway, I better go sit in the kitchen to make sure they are going to survive the next half hour unscathed.
Ridiculous.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

last chorale

Tonight was the last night of chorale. It's quite bittersweet. I love to sing and preform, but I am thankful the the stress of a class that has been removed. Now I just have to focus on two classes and the papers that go with them. It is rather nice to be so close to the end, but I'm still apprehensive about winter break. Mostly because I'll be leaving my car here and I won't be driving. Flying makes me nervous and I'm always afraid I'll end up leaving important things here. Which normally I do. Plus it is really hard for me to decide which projects to bring home and which to leave here.

At least this week looks like it will be going by fast. I'm excited about going to work tomorrow to get out of the dorm room for a bit and then going to class in the evening. I truly adore Psychology class. It brightens my Tuesday and Thursdays. And Wednesday will be filled with counseling and then an MRI to see exactly what is up with my leg of soreness. At one point last night I decided it really wouldn't be that bad to chop it off and get a wooden peg leg. Might be a little fun even.

Anyway, I finished half of my Christmas presents! Mom and my sisters' presents are all done! I'm quite proud of this too. And the present for my cat is done! Whoot! I just have three human and one dog gift to get done. I think I may make the dog a bone, or buy him a loofa (shhh! don't tell!). The others, I frankly have no clue on. Oh! And I got my roommate's gift done! Yay! I'm super excited to give her it! I'm kind of excited about this year and am rather hopeful that it will be quite successful.

In other news, finished a new hat. It's just a normal ear-flap hat and I'm teaching my friend how to make a hat. It's her first time really crocheting so I thought a hat would be practical. Maybe she and I can start a granny-square a day challenge and then make a epic blanket! That'd be sweet. We could wist together! haha. Anyway, here's the hat and my super awesome "I'm kinda tired and attempting to convince myself that one more paper won't kill me" face.

Happy Holidays!!


Saturday, December 4, 2010

Snow...bahumbug

It is snowing. If you know much about you'd know that I detest the snow. I find it horrible in every which way. The only thing it is good for is canceling classes and for looking at, if you are inside a very warm house. Neither of which is happening because it is Saturday, and I'm in a chilly dorm room. I'd turn on the heater, except that its super loud and Harry Potter is on. I am very fond of these movies so I will probably just suffer in this cold. To this time, I have accomplished nothing except for making a pair of baby shoes and deciding that I will make myself some mittens to go along with the bomber hat i made a couple days ago. Unfortunately I haven't been able to get the felt to make my hat warmer, so it's still super cold. Tomorrow however it will happen! Until then, I will huddle underneath my super stylish snuggie and make some mittens. Yay mittens!!

bomber hat!!

I borrowed my friend's mannequin head to take pictures of my hats I've made. It was super fun! Anyway, here's the newest hat. I pretty much am in love with it!


Eventually I plan on adding felt to the insides so that it's warmer. Right now it couldn't stand up to the Missouri winter I hope it to! But I like it anyway :)

Friday, December 3, 2010

friday night ramblings

Oh dear. This week has been slowly chaotic. Basically been in limbo with the moving forward of the whole me getting fixed and walking normally thing because of insurance stuff. Thankfully today it was all sorted out and now I can move on! Well, on Wednesday I can. Until then I have these nice little pain pills that make life more bearable haha...


Choir concert happens in about twenty minutes. I asked my Gel group to come, but I don't know if they are. I don't think they are either. Its not that huge of a disappointment, but I would like someone there just for me and for no one else. That sounds super superficial and vain. But haven't you ever wanted someone there just for you to let you know that you did a good job? Still vain, I know.

Few other things have happened. The BexieMorse Designs page has a few followers now (18!!) and has spurred new projects. Last night I expanded the hat patterns to regular beanie, tam, dread beanie, beret and the brand new bomber-style! Woot! I am actually quite fond of my bomber hat. Soon I'll be adding felt to the inside to make it super nice and toasty! Few other things were created, a reindeer and snowpeople and bracelets were added. Tomorrow I get to go and pick up a few more supplies for BMD and will start on all the wonderful Christmasy things!

Well, I have run out of time. I've got to fix my hair and find my shoes before I head over to the chapel to sing. I hope this evening goes splendidly.

love on

Sunday, November 28, 2010

sunday

I should be finishing a final. however its not timed so I'm not really worried about it. Instead I'm watching Jockeys and writing a new blog. Today has been a decently okay day. Went out to eat and found out I have enough for another meal on a gift card I got a little while ago. It is also the day that I've walked the furthest in a week. Sad to say, still hurts like all get out. Even now as I sit here I just want to moan and curl up into a little ball so I don't have to deal with the pain. I keep hoping that someone cancels their appointment for tomorrow so I can get in a day earlier. Not sure what a big difference a day makes, but I'm convinced it will make one. I'm just not feeling this whole limping around campus and getting asked "Where are your crutches?" I hate crutches. We don't get along. I hate being made fun of for using them and I hate people think that I need help when I am on them.
Sigh
I'm 18 days out from going back to Missouri. Lately I've been being plagued by thoughts of my horses. I really miss them and I hate that the perfect time for me to ride is spent in school. Pictures, movies and tv shows just aren't the same. One of the things I want to do is polish all my tack and then crush out my horses and make them all pretty. Most of all I think I miss that horsecrazy girl I used to be with no inhibitions and the world at her feet.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

thanksgiving break

Thanksgiving break has been rather unproductive thus far for me. If you look at it work wise at least. I did get to watch a few of my old favorite movies and then on thanksgiving day cook a fair bit of food. Also created this little giraffe named Jeffery that is slightly neurotic because he has so spots, so he makes up for it by wearing a sweater vest. That's about all the update there is about this break. I have about four things to do, which I may or may not do before tomorrow. Hopefully I'll find the motivation to do them somewhere. Hopefully!



Jeffery in his unfinished sweater vest.





Jeffery in his finished sweater vest.



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

pathetic

I can't walk very well. I haven't been able to for over a week now. I've been hobbling around either on my own feet or crutches, which I have decided are my worst enemy ever. Crutches are not my friends. Never will be. Anyway, I took a nap today. This nap was brilliant and induced by the amazing pain meds I'm taking now that cause me to sleep and not feel anything. This nap had a great dream in which I was running and jumping and leaping like a little unicorn. It was magical! So when I awoke out of my magical jumping dream, for some reason, I thought that I would be able to leap from my bed and begin the day anew. Unfortunately, I forgot the whole "I'm a slight cripple and landing on the bad leg causes intense pain and collapse". So, after the whole *BADUM!* of jumping out of bed, I was stricken with a gut wrenching realization of "NO" and collapsed on the ground. There I lay. Pathetic and withering on the ground in pain. Then the haze from the sleep lifted and I realized more clearly, I cannot move normally. And that I was kinda hungry. After many more minutes of laying on the floor wondering first what I could eat and second how I was going to get up, the thought of rolling came to me. Rolling is less effective in a dorm room than one would think. Instead of rolling to my closet where I would use the sink to pull myself up, somehow I rolled into my bed, cornering myself. Slowly, I just gave in. I was never getting up.

Then I realized I was being dumb and could use the bed to pull myself up.

That was the clearest moment of my day. Now I can sit here, off the floor and happily with my easy mac and coke recounting the story for you. Take that crutches I didn't use but probably should have!

Breaking News

So if you haven't noticed the sidebar addition, you should check it out!

Pretty much I made a facebook page for the things I make and if you like it click "like"
or you could go here and do the same thing.
Thanks!

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/FzUXml8cMfkD6qdS







and people say i have too much time on my hands....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

catch up

So I haven't posted in a while because of two main things, NMC and the internet being down at school. The NMC was pretty dang amazing, got to connect with a few friends, made new ones and it was generally just a good time. However, I was a bit of a bum because walking was not of my favorite things. I got hurt playing soccer and it was pretty bad. Such is life.


Right now, pretty much everyone has left because of Thanksgiving break. Before I went to college, Thanksgiving was spent at my one of my grandparent's house, now its spent either alone or with a couple of friends. Its pretty quiet and I like it that way. Christmas break is going to be pretty hectic and stuff. But that's cool.

That's all I've got to say now. Glee is about to come on.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

NMC

The vast majority of packing for me is done! Huzzah! Now I'm just hanging out until I decide it is time to crash so that I can get up super early for the National Missionary Convention. I'd say more, but there really isn't anything to say on it. I'm going. Bum leg and all. Oh. That. Yeah, its just as bad as it was yesterday and the only brightside is I may not end up in the er this time. Down side is no soccer for the rest of the semester. That I am super bummed over. Oh well.


I'm pretty excited about the NMC. But not all at once. Mix of emotions!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

To NMC!

In a little more than 24 hours I will be on my way to Lexington Kentucky for the National Missionary Convention! This breaks my streak of being the only cross-cultural major to not go every year. Its a bittersweet ending to that. Luckily, in my van, I am not the only driver! Woot! Only a nice five hour drive for me! When we get there, I'm working the booth for MACU- so you should stop by- and hanging out with the kids Saturday all day! Yeah! I'm super excited about working with the kids!
Anyway, that's pretty much all the excitement. In other news, soccer was fun. Managed to get a little hurt, but not too worried about it yet so we'll see what the diagnosis is tomorrow. Either way, I'm about ready to take a bunch of advil and call it a night. To keep you all entertained....I give you....Marcel the shell with shoes on!!





Sunday, November 14, 2010

cupity cake

This was a very crafty weekend! Two ugly dolls and a cupcake! The cupcake will go to a friend tomorrow, and I am really excited to see their face. I made it a chocolate one instead of vanilla, because well, as every girl knows, chocolate is just better! There may be a vanilla one in the future, maybe with blueberry icing instead of strawberry! A couple people have already asked if they could buy one from me, which is weird for me. I'm not used to people liking my stuff so much....Anyway....productive weekend craft wise, specially after the funk I was in trying to think of things to make. My mom wants me to make an ugly doll with catnip for her cat, Gusgus. So, I should probably work on that sometime soon! Hope everyone's weekend went well!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ugly Dolls

Today I decided to try my hand at making ugly dolls.
I think I succeeded fairly well.


Ynight

Tonight was Y-Night. Basically, if you don't know what that is, the local YMCA allows us to take over their building for a few hours. Typically, quite a few people show up, however this time there were very few people. This made me a little sad because I always hear about how there is nothing to do on campus, how few opportunities we have to hang together off of campus and how no one ever wants to do anything. Now, I understand that its a Friday night and people have things to do on the weekends, but come on! Don't complain if you aren't willing to stay an extra night or get off your duff. Anyway, I had a good time. One of my friends who I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with was there and it was really nice to get to hang out with her for a while. She's a lovely gal, and I hope that she knows that.

Beyond that, next week is the National Missionary Convention. I'm kinda excited to be going but apprehensive at the same time. Its in the same state as someone who I haven't spoken to in a long while and the hopeless romantic in me kinda hopes that this person will be there and we'll run into each other, but at the same time that notion scares the heck out of me. It probably won't happen, but you never know. I am going to be working the MACU booth while there some of the time, and also helping with the kids. I'm really excited to be working with the kids because its been a while since I've gotten to do that. From what its looking like, its going to be a pretty neat couple of days. Oh, also, I'm one of the drivers. Which is much less exciting, however I'm one of the few students here who logs over 4,200 driving miles in a school year.
All in all, this has been a relatively calm week. I have only one paper to complete this weekend and a test to study for. Not too bad of a homework load. I started making a doll this evening. Not like a baby doll, more like the ugly dolls. All of the other projects are done (see previous post) so I think I may work up a couple hats and gloves. I'm kinda looking forward to a relaxing weekend full of watching Doogie Howser, MD and making cute things.
Lovely Life.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Crafting News

There really hasn't been a whole lot of crafting going on lately. Made a cute elephant, the flower hat, another hat and a quick hat for a friend. I was going to make a tam hat for another friend, but I ran out of yarn for it. Anyway, I didn't get a lot of pictures, and I'm hoping to get the kids to model their hats for me one of these days because 1. they are super adorable and 2. I'm pretty sure people are tired of seeing my head model stuff and 3. they are super adorable! I'm not sure what the next project will be, mostly waiting to see if anyone wants anything made for this season's Christmas gifts (hint hint) I've got a little price list all done up, and the roommate tells me its quite reasonable and she's pretty sure I'm doing it too cheap. But the deal still stands, if yarn is brought, I will fashion and its your choice to tip or not. This reminded me I need to check to see if someone wants their yarn back.... But yeah! I'm looking for new ideas for projects. I think I may try my hand at kitty toys since I just got a new one. Toss the ideas at me! If you need super sweet Christmas gifts...let me know! :)

Awesome pictures of Suzy, the new kitten



Ain't she precious!



Wednesday, November 10, 2010

quiet

I like silence. I enjoy not having music on at at times so the quiet hum of electricity can be heard. I like to turn off the radio in the car so the wooshing air and the rubber on asphalt can be heard. I especially enjoy quiet in bible studies. After a question is asked, I'd much rather hear silence. I like silence.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

outie of the innie

Today I was told that even though I'm open and willing to share who I am and everything, I'm not willing to give that information up. Its true. I've been burned before by people, so I'm not going to just readily give away information about myself unless the right questions are asked. It isn't anything against people, it's a self-preserving mechanism that I have adopted over time to save myself heartache.


Honestly thought, sometimes I wish I was more open.

Everyday I get to see people that are close. And today in psychology class when I was asked what the social norms were for the group of peers I was in, I asked the teacher what she wanted specifically because I didn't understand. I did. I just didn't want to sound like the loser who didn't have a real group to fit into. There is no one clique that I can point to and say, "Those are my peeps." It frustrates and saddens me a bit.

One day it'll change.

At least I'm pretty sure it will. Someday, someone, is going to notice me and decide that they want to get to know me better, know me more. And then, others may follow suit. Eventually there'll be a group of people that know me. The inner me. And not think its weird, strange or dorky. I'm excited for that day and hope that it comes soon. Because I'm tired of feeling like I'm on the outskirts of the inside.

headache

Dear Mr. Headache,

I know that you dislike bright lights, noise, practically every sound, but I cannot make special accommodations for you. You see, you chose to take up residence in my head in the middle of the afternoon when a bunch of activity happens and the sun is shining full force. That was not my call, twas yours. Now seeing that we cannot see eye to eye on how operations should run around here, I suggest your pack up and move to a different head. I'm sorry that this may come off as a bit rude, however, I do have a bit of studying to do and would like to get that done.
Best Wishes,
Me

Sunday, November 7, 2010

1150.
That's how many people have viewed my blog since I put up that little counter thing.
It's pretty cool.
Especially since I don't think I have a lot to say a lot of the time.
Thanks.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Productive!

I feel super productive today. I cleaned my car and my room and managed to wash all of my laundry and put away summer clothes. Not only did I manage to do all of that, but I also got a bit of homework done and shortly I will be doing a pretty little elephant. Super fun day! Tomorrow I hope to get everything else that I need to do homework wise tomorrow, along with a couple hats. Feelin pretty snazzy about all of that right now.

Oh did I mention I made some pretty cute turkeys out of pumpkins? No? Well, I did. Probably the most adorable turkeys on earth. You'll just have to believe me because I'm not going to load a picture tonight.


Yup. Today has been good to me. Hopefully tomorrow is just as productive. Maybe tonight I'll go to bed at the time I used to in high school...yeah...that's not going to happen. Oh! Maybe I'll reward myself by going out to see Megamind! Hmm...yeah...no...I think I'll just watch a movie on netflicks or another site. Relaxing night away!


Flower Hat

So, because I have nothing else to do on my Friday night and have been planning on it for a while anyway, I made a new hat. Not for me. For someone else. So here it is in all its not so great picture quality....

Its supposed to be a flower hat for a little girl. The size scares me cause I'm not used to making little people hats, but its stretchy so it should work. Tomorrow I plan on making another elephant, for a different person and maybe another hat. So let me know what you think of this one. Thanks!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

insight

A little insight to me...

I'm always early because I hate being late.

My socks will always match.
I will forget important things like keys, cards, phone.
I remember details that make no sense to anyone else.
I only wear bracelets on my left wrist.
I don't remember names well.
Witty shows make me happy.
I hate washing laundry, but I love folding them.
Washing dishes is mundane.

interesting

Sometimes I find it funny that the people who are supposed to know you well, never take notice when you're sunk the lowest. But people who know you on the surface and maybe a bit below, notice from yards away. Its not humorous in a laughing way, more quixotic I suppose.

I suppose one day they'll notice, when they aren't so busy and such.


At least there is tomorrow to look forward to. Tonight was a near disaster.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Question to the Masses

I keep debating back and forth on selling a few of the things that I have crocheted. Problem is, I don't know if people would really want to buy them or not. Hmm. What do you think people?
If so, how?


I'd attach pictures, but its late and I'm tired.
Plus, it'd take it forever to upload.
Lame.

Addiction.

Today was the day that I did chapel with a friend of mine. Our topic was addiction. There was a realyl great skit that a few of our friends helped us out with (Thank you!) and a video. It all went off without a hitch and was pretty dang awesome. I spoke this chapel and here is what I said:


Addiction. That's such a funny word. It can be positive or negative. I'm addicted to Jesus! I'm addicted to love! I'm addicted to serving! I'm addicted to meth. I'm addicted to porn. I'm addicted to alcohol. Do you know what addiction means? Addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice. To be addicted to something means that you are devoted or given up to a practice or habit or to something psychologically or physically habit-forming. Doesn't sound too bad if you're addicted to something positive, does it? We're surrounded to addiction every day. From religion, to drugs, people, and ideals... people are addicted to something somewhere at all times. We're all addicted to something.


Addiction isn't just to drugs, alcohol and the like. Its also feelings, desires and ideals. My father was addicted to feeling bigger than the rest of us. He needed to always feel as if he was in control, like the top dog, big kahuna. His addiction drove him too far sometimes, and most of the time he didn't realize that he wasn't in control anymore. His addiction was being in control. Now don't start assuming he was a completely horrible man, he does have some redeeming factors. He's just one of the many examples of people who are blindly addicted to a feeling.


You can also think about girls in high school, or boys for that matter. Their need to be noticed, hip, smooth. They are addicted to attention. They crave that feeling that you get when someone of the opposite sex notices you for the first time, that feeling of, “they saw me.” They need to have the clothes, hair, makeup, shoes....all of those things that make you 'in'. It just feeds their addiction. They are addicted to attention.


What am I addicted to? I would love to say that I'm one of those people who are just simply addicted to Jesus. I'd be lying if I said I was. I'm not addicted like I should be. Simply being wanted. I am addicted to the need to be accepted, wanted, loved, needed. Crazy, I know. My body hungers for the feeling of being a part of something. My soul aches when its left on the outskirts. I am addicted to being wanted.


But even with this desire, I know that it'll break. And it's been breaking, slowly, cautiously over the past years. How you ask? Because I found the key to end this addiction. You all know it, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Its love. Love breaks addiction. Love is what calls families to have interventions with the ones that are addicted in their family. True love is what is trying to have an intervention in yours. This love is so easy to have, but so hard to recognize. Its just beckoning for you to hear it above the roar of your addictions. It wants you so badly to change. It poured out its life and blood just so you can be free from the things that hold you down. Love wants you and me. Its taken me a long time to realize this. My intervention from my addiction has been staged. Its not going to be easy. But slowly, I am learning that Love is the only thing that will take that consuming desire and replace it with something so much better. Love is waiting for you too to say that you are tired of always wanting more of something else, more of your addiction. It can't do it for you. It may seem harrowing, but its worth it. I'm sure its worth it. I don't know what your addiction is. Honestly, I don't want to know either. Its between you and God. You know what you have to do. You've heard it a million times, a million different ways. I'm sure, like me, you've given it up for a short while, just to go crawling back when withdrawal kicks in. But, if you can last through that time, you're going to find something so much better. Love.

So that's what I had to say about addiction. I hope you thought it was okay. Thanks for reading.

Sometimes life comes at you too fast.
Others too slow.

On occasion, I wish it would pause so I can play in the moment.

Right now. I don't want to take it head on.


Friday, October 29, 2010

one day, it'll be my turn.

I was going to write the other day, but then I took a step back and realized that it would have been a horrible blog. Mostly because I just wanted to rant about how couples couple and single people weep and the whole world is topsy turvy and my stomach is weak. So I decided to wait. To let everything simmer down and to write with a semi-clear head. Preferably this would have been after a Scrabble game and much laughter, but instead it is after watching a basketball game and a sore throat. But that's okay in the scheme of things. So, anyway, today I started getting scheduled for classes. This time of year always stresses me out because I never know how close I am to graduating nor if the classes I need are going to be available. Part of my taking forever to graduate is every other year classes, the other is amazing insecurity in the after college life. But let's focus on scheduling. This year went smoother than others because I prepped for it. I ticked off what I wanted to take and added that to what I needed to take. Magically they all aligned just so, and now everything I need is lined up wonderfully. There are only two classes I'm not exactly thrilled about. One is at 8am, so naturally I inherently oppose it. The other is math. I suck at math. Toss a scientific equation at me any time of day, give me chemicals to balance, any of the science math; just don't give me normal math. I am beyond horrible, terrible no good at it. With no fail it makes me feel like a five year old who has been given a three digit multiplication problem and six minutes to solve it. Bleh. All will be okay. It too shall pass with at least a C.
On to the other part, after graduation. With the way things are looking, I will only have to take two more semesters worth of classes and one internship. That means I'd graduate in December of 2011. I honestly have no idea and no prospects as to what I would do after that. I've been racking my brain to find things. What am I good at? Who would hire me? What would I use my degree for? Its all so scary and daunting. Sometimes I just want to curl up and pretend that adulthood isn't coming for me. That I won't have to move away and I'll always get to live in a dorm and have my friends around. Sadly, that can't happen. I've got to grow up sometime and I'm terrified. My choices are basically, find a job out here, apartment and work here or move back home and work in the store I've been working in for the past four summers and stay with my grandparents and miss everything out here. I'd miss everything back home too. My ideal situation would be to be hired by the school to do what I do now full time. I don't know if that will ever happen. Maybe between now and then Prince Charming (or Finn or "Jim Halpurt") will come and rescue me and show me what to do. If only fairy tales came true right?
There are a million things flying around in my head currently. I wish I could get them all out. Talk to someone about them, but I can't. Or more of, won't. I don't want to burden people with my thoughts and insecurities. But I would like a person to take pictures with. Not that I have a working camera right now. So maybe a walk. Or soccer. Or coffee shop. Or movie. Or frankly anything. One day it'll be my turn. Till then I've got to suck it up and be quiet.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

happy days

This past weekend was a great one for me. I was able to go to Busch Gardens and Howl-o-scream on Sunday. That's pretty much a dream come true for me because I've been wanting to do that for a really long time. It was, in short, amazing. Every bit of it I loved. From waiting for my friends to return from a coaster to even walking through a haunted house and going on my first coaster since give or take 15 years. Every bit of it I loved!
Friday and Saturday were spent laughing. A lot. And watching horrible B movies and seeing other movies and just getting to hang out with people that make me laugh at stupid things and words. It was quite fun. And yesterday I went on a college fair that was a really good one! So much fun! Now, its Tuesday and things have calmed down quite a bit. The Rocky Horror Glee show isn't on till 8 and I have several things to do before then, but it'll all get done and be set. I can't wait for this show! Yay! Oh, this week has been kind.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Scary

Got to see Paranormal Activity 2 with a large group of friends. By large, I mean we couldn't all sit in the same row or exact area. Which is kinda cool cause it started out as three and grew to a lot. Anyway, it was a pretty good movie and explained a lot from the first one. I have this feeling that there might be a third, but you never know. When we got back, I made a pumpkin. Pictures will come later probably, but I'm too lazy to upload them currently. He is rather cute. Tomorrow looks like a nice calm day and then Sunday. Sunday I am going to Busch Gardens. I am super excited about this because I've never been before and have always really wanted to go. Now I am! Yay!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

my mom rules

My mom sent me a care package for Halloween. Its my favorite holiday. Basically, my mom is cooler than your mom.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

loves.

I love:

argyle prints. sweaters, vests, socks...love them all.

the leaves changing fro, green to red, orange and yellow.

the smell of a wood fireplace burning.

that crisp, fresh breeze of fall.

tube socks. i have a slight obsession.

random happy dresses.

raspberry hot chocolate from Muddy's.

scrabble games that last for hours because
we're too busy laughing to spell.

the magic feeling you get when you see someone you like.

the realization that single doesn't mean you're alone.

the ba-dum of a heart.

hugs.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Calm?

Sunday Night Live went off great. It was pretty awesome to see all the people packing the gym and watching the band rock out. Tony Wolf was there and he's a pretty funny dude. Bobby Wallace spoke and from what I heard he was pretty great. Nothing major bad happened, so, it was awesome. I'd be using more exclamation marks, however, its morning and I'm not a excitable person before noon. I'm also waging the debate of 'should I change into my grownup pants or will I have time to change before I leave'. Its great. Later today I'll be driving about four hours away to this town to do a college fair. Its a late fair which means I'll be getting back late and totally wish I had someone going with me. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who can go with me soon...hopefully. I really dislike going alone on long trips cause I'm always worried I'll never find my way back. Plus, driving at night makes me nervous. I could do with less nervous in my life. What else can I say? School is back in session and I'm super happy about that. I don't like breaks that don't really serve a purpose. I mean, I get that fall break is good because it allows us to have a rest mid-semester and whatnot, but I'd rather get all my learning done and then take a longer christmas break. I'd be better for me anyway cause it'd give me another week at home. But I'm not in charge of the academic calendar. I just remembered I have to go drop off a table cloth. Joy. Well, I guess that is what I'm going to go do.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Right now i am sitting listening to this band play their songs while i run through lights. I love SNL sundays.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Nargles beware!

I have a list. Actually, I have several lists. This particular list got revamped today. After looking at it for a little bit, the qualities of all the things on it seemed more the same than ever. Honestly, pretty much repeated the same thing with different nouns and physical characteristics. Even the looks of them aren't all that different. Woah.

In other ramblings, got boxes in the mail yesterday (whoot!) One was a carepackage of food, one was winter stuff and the last one, the most fun one, were things I ordered from Etsy. Now I'm a huge closet nerd. Normally I'm able to keep all of my nerdiness inside. These were super cool to me. I got radish earrings and a cork necklace. Basically this means I'm going to get a lot of wisdom and the nargles won't bother me.

If you got that, you know what its from.
If you didn't, google.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

this is why i don't get up early

Its super early in the morning. Earlier than I get up for classes early. Today I get to go to a college fair in a town I've never been to before. Not going to lie, I'm really tired right now. Mornings like these make me wish I drank coffee. Nasty stuff. I happen to look pretty dang stunning right now...which does bring up my mood a little bit. Looks like a energy drink kind of morning with a side of something fast. At least this one gets done a bit earlier, so I can get back in time to sleep for the next one...super stoked about that sleep right now...yeah. So focused on tiredness. Okay. Jumping jack jumping jack monster lunge. Nope. Still tired. Oh well. So long as I wake up in time to answer questions, its all good.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

1,000

also- 1,000!
woohoo! you guys are awesome!
thanks for reading!
Yay!

productive? nah

Saturday was a super productive day. Really meaning, I did a load of laundry and then finished a scarf that had needed to be done for just over a year. Oh, and I watched all of season 3 of the office. Love that show! Anyway...the scarf is super cool and is a nod to the Hufflepuff house. I'm pretty much in like with it. Today doesn't look like it will be much more productive. More laundry, more crochet, more episodes. Its a nice change from the rushing week that was had here.
Without further ado, here's the scarf I made....
Trying to show the pattern I used, it was pretty simple and quick.

As you can tell, I'm super excited about this scarf and totally plan on wearing it a ton with these new earrings and necklace I got. So snazzy!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Love

This week has been full of lows and highs all around. Starting on Sunday with the confusion, realization, horror, shock of what happened. Monday with the mourning, uncertainty, and knowledge. Tuesday with the attempt to be 'normal', the stress, the hounding, the pain. Wednesday with the pleading, bargaining, tears, hatred, and sorrow. Thursday with the remembering, rebuilding, grace, healing. And then today. Today with the ending, the game, the start. The overriding theme of this week however was love. Love for God, for one another, from God. Love is what kept us together and love is what is going to bring us through everything. You might have noticed the little picture on the side of the blog. Go on. Check it out. That is in memory of two students that attended my school. One for the joy that he now has in heaven and the other for the reminder to pray for him every day. When things happen, good or bad, one person isn't just affected. Lots of people are affected. This is going to, and already has changed a lot of people. But, we need to remember the love we are given and the love we are supposed to give. Its really hard to remember that sometimes. And sometimes all we can do is just try. That's what we need to do right now.

forever and always...

LOVE WINS

Monday, October 4, 2010

Things at school are hard right now. All I ask is that you pray. Pray for the students, families, teachers, ministers, counselors, policemen, detectives, and community. Pray for peace. Pray for an end to the grief. Pray for everyone to find the calm in the storm. Pray that through this, God will make something even greater happen. Pray that more people come to know God. Pray that we all can love more, show more grace and just learn more about Him. Just pray.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Shapes

Recently I have been
trying to make things with
the words that I type. I
don't know if you
noticed
that or not.
But I thought it was kinda
fun and all cause sometimes
it gets really boring reading the
same way all the time.
Maybe not. I don't
know what
you
prefer.

Anyway........I saw
the social network tonight.
it was a pretty great movie
and I recommend that
you see it as soon
as you can.
Yup.

So I'm not really sure what the first one was supposed to be...it just looked cool. But the second one is a heart. Because I really liked that movie. Its quick and somewhat witty and shows a lot of what nerdy, outcast and yet semi-popular college life is like...well at least at a secular college. Not so much at a Christian one. We'll let bygones be bygones on that subject. Anyway, it was quite a nice night with my friend. We had a 'date night' and got all prettified, went out to the Outerbanks where we had dinner and then saw "The Social Network." Twas a grand night. Oh, and we sang awesome songs like "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Prior to that, I cleaned my room. It is pretty nice and clean right now. So nice. Now if only my shirts would dry so I could put them away and the quarter machine worked so that I could do the rest of my laundry... tomorrow's work I suppose. My football team has a bye week this weekend so I should be able to get a lot of work done tomorrow. Hooray for responsibilities! Well, now I kinda have to go to sleep, or attempt to. Its been a long day. Love on, people.

Friday, October 1, 2010

oboe

Today I realized how much I miss playing my oboe.
I'm going to start playing more.
Its sounds make me happy.
at least most of the time.
its a great oboe.
that's all.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Kermit

yesterday my cat died.

my mom told me via text.
last semester his brother died.
it is rather sad and disheartening.
it is also quite very rainy today.
which makes it even worse.
i'm really sad he's gone.

Monday, September 27, 2010

girl friends

I have some of the best friends in the world. Honestly.

They are pretty awesome. And here are a few reasons why:

They dance crazily with me at night...


They are fabulous...


Always got my back...


and they enjoy inducting freshmen and looking crazy while doing it...


My girl friends are very special people. These are not all of them, just the ones with whom slightly less than embarrassing pictures have been taken with. They are honestly some of the most brilliant, God-fearing, honest, loving, amazing people I know. And I'm blessed to know them.

Thank you.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

stressed out.

I have one and a quarter papers to finish and a few services to type up. However, I do not feel motivated to do it at all. Its the horrible cycle of its not due till noon tomorrow and then the I know it'll take me all of an hour to do it. Now, its not that I don't know how to do it ('cept IBL. No idea on that at all), I'm pretty smart and a very good writer when the will and need strikes. I am just an amazing procrastinator. And what sucks more about that is the fact that it completely and utterly stresses me out. And when I stress, I stress about stressing and then become even more stressed out that I cannot stop stressing. All of that takes its toll in a few ways: either I can't sleep, eat or stop 'doing' or all I do is sleep, over eat and become lethargic. Never is it in the middle, always one extreme or the other. Like currently, I'm stressing out that I am not doing my work, which has caused me to clench my jaw all day, which means now I have a sore jaw and pretty nice little headache. Plus, this go around I'm in the second category so I have been loafing around all day. However, I did make some head way on my work. Its just not enough. What sucks even more is that because of my 'dealing' strategies, not even notices when I'm fully stressed out. The close friends I have can tell, but many others cannot. And when its the weekend and everyone is home, or on their way back, or just not here, there really isn't anyone to stop and ask if I'm okay and if everything is going well. Which is something that I would really love someone to recognize and ask. Not being asked stresses me out. That's probably weird. What's even weirder is now I'm stressing out that I can write an entire blog, but I can't get past a second page on a paper on my opinions. Ugh. Right now, I would like a dimly lit bath with a ton of bubbles and warm water, some good soft music, soft towels and a good book. Relaxation. A moment to recollect my self and then begin the slow, methodical process of typing.

Friday, September 24, 2010

crazy

This past 24 hour period was a real roller coaster. If you know me well, you'd know I hate roller coasters. They make me ill, and cry, and pretty much just want to break down. That's both the real ones and metaphorical ones. Pretty much, I started out on this pretty nice ride, got to an unexpected high and crashed without much warning. The realist in me knew it was coming so I was kinda prepared, but the silly optimist squelched it's warnings and just let it go on. It...yeah. Long story short, not fun.

However, this is going to be a fun weekend. Or at least it looks like it will be. A few of us are supposed to go to the beach, which I am completely stoked about. I love going to the beach and hanging out with my friends. Mostly I love the beach, but don't tell them that...


I wanted to write something really inspirational when I started this, but I really had nothing of importance to say. Its just been a crazy time.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

poem

lets just walk at night

and take pictures of the crazy things we see.

Telling stories from our memories.

I'll show you the knights and dragons,

you'll show me the maiden fair.

We'll spin a tale through the midnight air.

As we capture the silent still in our black lenses
ghosts and goblins caught on the negatives.

Racing through the shots and scenes,
the connection growing like a weed.

And when we come the the end of the path,

film spent and story waned,

i'll gasp as we look back and you'll take my hand,

as we trek back, once again.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

questions

Lately things seem to be in a rush and in slow motion at the same time. Which is really weird considering nothing is out of normal. Nothing much has changed beyond the date. Maybe its the anticipation of something big that I am not currently aware of. Or it could just be the stack of things that seem to have piled up when I wasn't looking. Not that things really have piled up, but I want to think so, so that I can have a better reason to procrastinate.

Since I got the official news that I can go to Berlin next summer, lots of things have been running through my mind. Will I be able to raise the money in time? What will my family think? Will I know enough German to talk to people? What will happen when I am not home? Will they be okay? Will my work hate me for not going back next summer? Does this mean I am really going to graduate and grow up? What will I do there? Will I be okay? What if something major happens back home? A million and one questions keep circling around my mind and it hurts to think about them and question everything. I know that I really want to go, that is is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. But all the what-ifs cause me to doubt myself, the trip and everything involved. Its like a poorly written science-fiction novel right now. Hopefully, everything will straighten out and be okay.
It looks like my procrastination will have to come to an end because my friend is coming down to watch the videos for the online class we're in together. On the upside, its one of the two things I need to finish today. On the downside, the videos suck. A lot.
Love on.

Friday, September 17, 2010

yay!

Today I got some really great news. You all know how I love books and Germany and missions. Well, all three are going to come together next summer for...are you ready?...

Rebecca in Berlin 2011!

It would be a better alliteration if it was 2010, but its 2011. I am super excited about this opportunity, and as I get more information on it, I'll tell you more about it. I hope you all take some time to check out what I'll be doing and maybe give some thought to supporting me on this mission trip. Okay that's all! Hope you're having a righteous weekend! Love on!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

flattery


To flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment.
Jane Austen





she's right.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

papers

Sometimes, when I have to write papers for class I like to hold a mini-competition between myself and an knowing (or unknowing) competitor...

its worked quite well so far to raise my grade

and self esteem

(much less theirs haha)


also, i like to sometimes pretend i'm writing like my friend meggers

(who is a really good writer and english graduate)

it makes me sound smarter

Friday, September 10, 2010

night pictures

Something that needs to be done more often is walking on the beach at night. Along with that is the night picture taking, which I have a great fondness for. I like to take pictures at that time because everything is just more mystical and neat. Also- its super rare for me to be at the beach after dark so it makes it even more special. I like it. A lot. So if you're ever wondering about what you should do with me, take me to the beach at night and bring a good camera and a flashlight.

Or just anywhere at night with a camera and flashlight.
It'd be fun.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Perfect Sunset

This evening I sat outside on one of the swings reading until it came for the sun to set. I had been anticipating this and forgotten that you can't see the sun set out here. This summer when I wasn't working, I sat outside on my front porch and watched the sun go down and every time the awesomeness of it was just wonderful. There was this one sunset that I enjoyed the most. In short, it was perfect.


The sun was a brilliant yellow ball rimmed with the orange that can only be found on maple trees in november. The rest of the sky was a fiery red that led up to a pale pink before a small strip of blue before the purple of the dark sky hit. All of the clouds seemed to be aflame with color. Looking straight up you could see the millions of stars start poking through the dark veil. All around you could hear birds sing, crickets start tuning and distant cows moo for one another. You could look straight ahead to where the sun was setting above the tree line, across the pasture and watch the cows slowly move from one pasture to the next while the lightest breeze seemed to wisk away the humid air and bring in the sweet night air. It smelled of grass, hay, dirt, air and a faint, faint smell of cows and horses. When the sun was just peeking over the tree line, about to fade away for the night, the fireflies started blinking around the yard and the crickets began their chorus with the few locusts that were around. The air got cooler and just made everything alright. By then all the stars were out and were flickering away. The moon had just started its watch over the land.

that was my perfect sunset.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sneak Day!

Today was sneak day. Sneak day is the time honored tradition where the seniors get together and plan a getaway day for the class body without telling anyone, even the professors. Naturally, the professors find out, and are okay with it. Over the recent years, they have known more about it and are asked to come, but only after 9am. This day starts at 5am by all the seniors waking up the underclassmen. My weapon of choice was the airhorn. 'Twas loud, hated and effective. This year it had been decided that we were to go to the Outer Banks of Nc, have a sunrise devo at Son Rise Church (get it? i didn't at first) and then go to Grog's. Grog's is this really cool place that rents out jetskis and has dolphin tours. The people on sneak day got to choose which one to do. I went with the dolphins considering I like them and haven't seen any that close that aren't separated from me by glass. Afterwards, we had this super nice lunch and then went to the beach for a bit. But back to lunch. I got asked to get the beans that were left at the church, so I did. And poor Aimee was the person who got to have them on her lap. Now beans have a fair bit of juice in them, well in the stuff you cook them in. And when you pair that with a container that doesn't seal all the way plus a moving vehicle, you get bean juice all over the inside of your car. It was quite an adventure and my car now smells of baked beans.
All in all, sneak day was pretty much awesome. But now I have to go memorize a bunch of words that I don't want to memorize. Frankly, I just want to go to bed. Soon. Very soon.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

elephant

I made an elephant today. He'd going to go live in the room next to mine with a nice lady who will take great care of him :)


He got all snazzy in prep for meeting his lady haha



he kinda reminds me of a heffalump...


Gotta love that orange carpet....


so there he is! macka!

Friday, September 3, 2010

fizzled out

Well Hurricane Earl has came and mostly left. It was much less stressful than everyone, including me, thought. According to the previous reports, we were supposed to get killer wind and tons of rain. It rained just enough for me to wear my super awesome galoshes, but that was about it. Its stopped now and has been for the couple hours I've been out of class. Its not really windy either. There are a few boats out on the river right now too, if that gives any more indication of what the weather is like outside. My car did get tarped yesterday evening, and I honestly have no intention of uncovering it anytime soon, because, well, it means the inside of my car is still dry and I'm perfectly okay with that. When it gets sunny and not wet I guess I'll uncover it to go places. Right now, that's not my biggest concern. Some of the crazy kids who live at the beach are going home for the weekend to chase the storm or some nonsense like that. Crazies.

In other news, by Monday there will be two new little creatures that will be finished. super excited about that! I finished one part of them last night and its super cute so I can't wait for the other to get done. :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Glee!

T-minus 20 days till Glee!
21 till Bones!

I'm Gleekin out man! I'm am so pumped for the new season! And for Bones! YEAH!




and on a happy note- no evacuation! well, at least for tonight and possibly tomorrow! this makes me super extremely happy!



Tuesday, August 31, 2010

three things.

Three things are on my mind right now.


1. There's a hurricane.
2. I really need to write that journal on moodle.
3. Its Tuesday.

The first thing scares me to death. I can handle a tornado just fine, but a hurricane brings me to tears. If you don't believe that, ask one of my close friends. I am so terrified of them I cry. Instantly. I've also never actually been in a hurricane, which makes it all worse. There's this big one named Earl (like the Dixie Chicks song!), and its supposed to go up the coast over Thursday, Friday and Saturday. However, if it doesn't want to do that, it'll hit where I am. Which means we will have to evacuate. Might have to do that anyway, if it is bad enough. The main thing from that is, where am I supposed to go? What about all my things? What happens when I leave? How far away is far enough? How will I know to come back?There's so many unknowns on it and fears, its pretty much not funny to me. Hurricanes sit there and loom on the horizon, and then near land spreading their terror...*shudder* I am not enjoying this forecast one bit. To give an idea of how afraid I am of it, think about that black fog in some movies that move in and take people away. And how grossly scary that is. That is the fear I get from Earl. Yeah.

Second thing. Laziness. Just need to get on it and write something that I thought was interesting.

Third thing. Tuesdays always seem to be the worst of the week. Mondays suck, but they begin something new and a chance to start having a pretty stellar week. But Tuesdays....oh they just remind you that there's still three more days till the weekend. And its not even halfway over.

Just found out that you can see this hurricane from space. That's right. SPACE. My anxiety level just rose 10000%.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

however.

I don't want to be the one to shout bible passages from the rooftops.
I don't want to be the one that people see as too pious.

I don't want to be the one that can tell you everything about the bible.
I don't want to be the one called that Jesus freak.
I don't want the be the one that is left out just because I'm Christian.
I don't want to be the one that is hypocritical in what I say and do.
I don't want to be the one that falls short at every turn.

However

I do want to be the one that people look at and see a difference in.
I do want to be the one that tries to get to know God as well as I can.
I do want to be the one that tries her best to follow Jesus' call to love people.
I do want to be the one that serves others rather than herself.
I do want to be the one that people trust to go to for their problems or questions.
I do want to be the one that recklessly follows the law of grace.
I do want to be the one that praises God in all things quietly.
I do want to be the one that gives her all in everything.

I want to love Jesus and everyone, but I don't want to be seen as the one that is too Christian, too much of a Bible thumper. I don't see the need to spout off verses, shout God's glory or have every post about Jesus. I would much rather people see me as someone who is trying her best to follow what she believes in. I would much rather people see me as the one who serves quietly, can be counted on and will always be there with a hand to help or shoulder to lean on. I never, ever, ever want to be the one to cram the gospel down someone's throat and make them feel inferior to me just because I know more about the bible, whether they are Christian or not. I just want to follow my God, do the best I can and help as many people as possible. But I'm a work in progress and some times, I'm not good at the following and I go astray. But I try.


Pear, pear, pear!

Tonight I decided that I really needed to make something. After searching the internet for a few hours I found this really adorable pear pattern. It was so adorable I decided that I needed to make it. Its also the prelude into making the next few creatures that are on the list. So, without any further wait, here is my little pear!

Its just so cute!



Welp, there it is! I hope you find him as cute as I do. Next up are the creatures for the Stanley's. Can't tell you what they will be, but they will be sweet and worth the surprise :)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

lack of umph

Its the first weekend of the school year and already I'm being a huge procrastinator. I have a book report that is due Monday and I would like to get it and its partner done so I don't have to worry about it. However, I am sitting here on skype talking to one of my friends in Germany and listening to music while I contemplate doing more than just opening the book. I'm also playing the 'try to ignore the pingpong ball that keeps flying at me' game. Seriously people. I am not a target. Also waiting for three o'clock to roll around so my friend and I can get to work watching our online course lectures. This semester I'm really trying to have a decent gpa and get everything done. Its just so hard when you have absolutely zero motivation sometimes. Like today. Today I would love to be at the beach laying out and enjoying the sun. But I got to do homework. Silly silly homework.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

first week

I am two classes away from finishing my first week of non-intensive classes this semester. Part of me is really excited the other is going, wait. Yesterday was Monday? Its awesomely weird and grossly fast. On the bright side, my room is mostly completed. I just have to go get a few more command strips and it will be finished. So excited about that! Now, if only E-city could get a Bank of America, I would be all set for the errands I have to fun this weekend.
Soccer started up again this week. And I'm super excited about it. The other day I couldn't play, which made me incredibly sad. However, I got to play today and even though it wasn't super serious it was a lot of fun to get out and run. Also made me re-realize how amazingly out of shape I am. Maybe next week I'll start that workout video I've been meaning to do...maybe not.
Anyway, this semester looks like it's going to be pretty nice. I managed to get signed up and on Moodle for my one online class and that made me pretty dang proud. The other classes I'm pretty interested in so hopefully they won't cause me to lose interest over time. And in a few short weeks my intensive work will be done and that'll just be another thing I don't have to worry about. Ah, such is life.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Strawberry Milk

Ever have one of those days were everything inside feels off, but you decide to just go on and smile and act like everything is alright, because, you know, if you act it you'll feel it? That's today. That's actually almost everyday. I never really got the whole acting like one thing and then suddenly it'll make you feel that way. Like, if you act happy, pretend happy, laugh, sing, dance happy, it doesn't really make you feel happy on the inside. Maybe it works for some people, and it does work in short bursts I suppose, but as far as the long run it doesn't. Its about as effective as trying to suck up the oil spill with a straw. Great analogy huh? I'm not really sure what is off. It is quite possibly quite a few things compiled. Homesickness, feeling out of the loop, school starting, anxiety, new people, etc. It all just feels a bit off. But not "Oh my gosh my world is going to collapse" off, just " I kinda wish someone would notice and give me a hug and talk" off. And even though I am really good at actin happy, I mean good. If there were awards for acting happy all the time, I'd totally win it hands down. But it really doesn't make me feel good on the inside. It just kinda makes me wish someone would see through the five star act and let me know they care. I guess this is a part of growing up. Learning how to feel happy alone. Learning how to deal with periods of off-kilterness and getting on with it all. Oh, woe is man and his existence. Well, I'm going to log off of this and finish drinking my strawberry milk. Good luck, good night and love on.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Happy Birthday to the person who was born on Aug. 22.

Friday, August 20, 2010

best friend

I just spent two hours on the phone with my best friend. Seriously. I rarely am ever on the phone that long, and normally its with her when it does happen. She is so completely awesome and doesn't even know it all of the time. She makes me feel so normal and loved and understood. Its so nice to have someone like that that's always there in my corner to let me know that things are okay and I'm not completely crazy. She also has a ton of stuff going on in her life. Which kinda sucks because not all of it is good stuff. But even through the crappy things, she always seems to find a way to laugh. We always seem to be able to make each other laugh, which I love. Even when I'm lamenting over how completely sucky everything is, she points out some little piece of irony and we laugh for a while. She's known me forever and is the best person I know. There really isn't a message to this beyond I love her and only wish the best for her.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

blurb

As I currently sit here, I am one day, four papers, one project and one final paper away from being done with my intensive. It has been a pretty much class and I've enjoyed it. I would have liked to taken What is worship, but this was okay too. Still pretty much just wiped out by the time I get done with class. Like right now, I am seriously considering a nap even though it is almost 7. But I'm just dog beat tired. Also need to go get some non-lunchables food. Hm. My roommate is back and it was super cool to see her for a bit. She'll be back later, I believe. Sometime next week I'm going to go get my tub of school stuff, which is cool. Cause I'll also get to go to gel group. Okay. That's all. I'm going to take a nap!