Thursday, December 30, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 9:36 PM
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Thus far this break I have been in five states. In a few short days I'll hit number six and I'm quite excited about that one. I'll get to go to Kansas to see my mom, which is pretty rare for me as I see her all of three times a year. Also, I got her some pretty awesome gifts for Christmas and I'm really excited for her to see them....and to get mine. Not so thrilled about the higher chance of snow there, but whatever.
Crafting this week has picked up some. Mostly because I have gifts to finish and that's 90% of what I'm doing now. I have one special order to do, and then some stock to get done, but that's about it. However, there are going to be some cool things done for next semester and I'm really excited about it.
Speaking of excited about stuff, if you're looking for a good place to donate to, check out Villalobos Rescue Center. They are a really amazing pitbull and person rescue.
Back to crafting, yeah I'm excited about that new stuff. Also hoping that some of it will fund a new tote bag and or hook case. That'd be really sweet. Lots of dreams for it taking off.
That's about all...
p.s. congrats rooms :)
thought by Just Becca at 1:45 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Today was a grand day. Only because I stepped foot into a Michaels. This is one of the greatest stores ever! Plus I got a 70% off Christmas items after Christmas day and 30% off of frames! Whoot! I am so happy with the stuff that I got there, which was next to nothing, but still...I haven't been in one in forever. So now, I can really get my craft on. Last night I finished my Dad's gift, and it looks pretty snazzy. I like the way the yarn turned out and all I have left on it is running it through the wash to soften the fibers a little. Tomorrow I'll get to start some ornaments, slippers and a few more mice. Lovely times
thought by Just Becca at 8:01 PM
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I made it back to Missouri with only minor emotional damage. I learned that night flying is not something I enjoy, airline cookies are gross and lucking out with that random hot guy sitting next to me may not be in my future. Overall, I guess it wasn't a bad trip. Detroit was cold as all get out and there was a ton of snow of the ground which made me kinda freak out that the pilot would hit black ice and we'd go skidding to our doom. I did get to see the most perfect baby snowflake while waiting to get off the death trap that flies. So cute and tiny with six pretty little points. I think the longest part was waiting for my luggage because mine always ends up being last. It was either that or the drive back. Three hours in a car after traveling all day by air seems like the longest time ever.
Luckily I have cute animals to come home to. My dear Harley was over excited to see me and Suzy the cat was excited I brought her mice. Earlier I caught them sleeping together, so that big facade they have of hating each other was thrown out of the window. Suzy is hilarious and one of these days I'm going to video her and the bag that she likes. One of these days she's going to jump in it and out of the bottom....haha Currently she's on her back beside me sleeping and Harley isn't far away snoring. According to my grandma they are never this calm when I'm away. I must have awesome animal soothing qualities.
Anyway, I have yet to put up Christmas decorations. It seems like I'm the only one that cares about it here. Christmas celebration doesn't happen on the 25th here, but rather on the 1st or any other random day. It is disappointing, but its life. People keep asking when I'm going to Kansas, and even though my answer has yet to change, I keep being told that I need to go there and I need to do this or that or the other thing. I'm sorry folks, but this is my winter break. It is set up specifically how I like it so that maximum relaxation can occur and your bickering and picking and nagging is not improving mine or anyone else's mood. Sorry, really had to get that off my chest. I've been home for not even 24 hours yet and almost everything about me has come under the microscope already. From not dating to weight, to father stuff to school, work to animals, everything has been picked on. It's tiring and I just arrived! I'd like a moment or twelve to just breathe.
Ok...breathing. So tomorrow it looks like decorations will be going up and I'm quite pleased about that because I would like to be in the spirit. I also get to go talk to my work tomorrow. I really don't want to work much, but I would like to pick up a few extra hours. Being lazy all the time bothers me. Hopefully I can get a few projects done without infusing them with the smoker's scent (my gma smokes, not me). At this point, I really hope that I get some moments to breathe and relax. I hope Santa brings me just that. And a unicorn.
thought by Just Becca at 8:38 PM
Friday, December 17, 2010
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to .....I'm leavin on a jet plane and I don't know when I'll be back again....
On another note, the dorm is empty sans a few people. It's really eerie and quiet. But that's okay. I get to watch Elf without any interruptions. My roommate leaving was the saddest part of the day. She gave me this awesome Wreck a journal book which I hope to work on on the plane ride some. She is pretty much awesome.
As for projects over break, I plan to do a few pygmy puffs, a few mice, work on the eco-bag and probably a couple more slippers for gifts. It doesn't look like I'll be working at the store very much so I'm going to attempt to enjoy the downtime of the break. I know when I get to Kansas I won't be doing much crafting because I'll be too busy visiting family. Oh, also, if you're planning to order or contact me about prices or such, please either comment on the facebook wall (http://www.facebook.com/BexieMorseDesigns) or email me at email@example.com. Well....that's all for now folks. I've got to prepare to leave on the plane.
thought by Just Becca at 8:26 PM
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 6:18 PM
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Ahem. I am done with finals. I took my one final today, aced it! And may have picked up a new customer for crochet things...even though she'll be getting a few ornaments for free naturally. According to the forecast, it is supposed to snow again tomorrow. I am only okay with this because 1. I have a pizza in the freezer so I don't have to leave the dorm
2. I have lots of projects to finish. By lots I mean two.
3. I still have some hot chocolate left.
Today was a pretty exciting, besides the acing of the final. Me and my friend went to Hopeline which is this really neat thrift store. I scored a new suitcase, some unused(!) Nob Hill Yarn- two skeins of it!, and two bags full of really spiffy buttons. I'm really excited about the buttons because before I just had the normal basic colored ones and now I have all sorts of buttons to craft with! Whoot! I'm sure this just added to my old lady status, but oh well.
So the projects I'm completing now are slippers. Four pairs! I have one and a half done so far. Really needed to take a break so my little fingers don't cramp up all funny. Its the sad side affect of crocheting for too long, finger cramps. At least there's a great episode of Glee on to occupy me while I rest :)
thought by Just Becca at 9:29 PM
Monday, December 13, 2010
Also, it snowed today.
thought by Just Becca at 6:18 PM
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I am a week away from leaving North Carolina for Missouri. I am kinda excited about it but also very apprehensive. I would much rather drive than fly, which is what I get to do this year. I don't mind flying, at any other time in the year. I really hate flying when the runways could be iced over or snowed on. I also really don't like the one bag rule because there are a lot of things I would love to be able to take home. Plus the fact I have to pack enough clothes for a month and all of them have to be clean before I leave here. It is less than ideal in my mind. I always worry I'm going to leave something important here, or my bag will get lost or any number of not good things will happen. Then there's the added stress of not having a car when I go home which means I can't drive where I want or work. All around stressing about this.
thought by Just Becca at 12:36 PM
Friday, December 10, 2010
Ahhh....the end of classes. It is a pretty refreshing feeling. It looks like I only have one final next week too, which leaves a lot of open time to create and craft up some Christmas presents and things. Last night I made a cute little mistletoe thing, and tonight I hope to work up a couple snowflakes and maybe a frosty ornament or two. Tomorrow will be a much bigger crafting day because, well, it's Saturday and I have nothing else to do! Yay!
On a less happy note, the dr didn't call today so I didn't get to hear any news on my leg. Which is super sad. I was really hoping for something, but, oh well. Maybe Monday!
thought by Just Becca at 9:39 PM
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tonight is my last real class of dev. psy. In honor of it, I'm making these meringue cookies that I rarely make. Pretty stoked about them except for one thing...
thought by Just Becca at 3:32 PM
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
At least this week looks like it will be going by fast. I'm excited about going to work tomorrow to get out of the dorm room for a bit and then going to class in the evening. I truly adore Psychology class. It brightens my Tuesday and Thursdays. And Wednesday will be filled with counseling and then an MRI to see exactly what is up with my leg of soreness. At one point last night I decided it really wouldn't be that bad to chop it off and get a wooden peg leg. Might be a little fun even.
Anyway, I finished half of my Christmas presents! Mom and my sisters' presents are all done! I'm quite proud of this too. And the present for my cat is done! Whoot! I just have three human and one dog gift to get done. I think I may make the dog a bone, or buy him a loofa (shhh! don't tell!). The others, I frankly have no clue on. Oh! And I got my roommate's gift done! Yay! I'm super excited to give her it! I'm kind of excited about this year and am rather hopeful that it will be quite successful.
thought by Just Becca at 12:18 AM
Saturday, December 4, 2010
It is snowing. If you know much about you'd know that I detest the snow. I find it horrible in every which way. The only thing it is good for is canceling classes and for looking at, if you are inside a very warm house. Neither of which is happening because it is Saturday, and I'm in a chilly dorm room. I'd turn on the heater, except that its super loud and Harry Potter is on. I am very fond of these movies so I will probably just suffer in this cold. To this time, I have accomplished nothing except for making a pair of baby shoes and deciding that I will make myself some mittens to go along with the bomber hat i made a couple days ago. Unfortunately I haven't been able to get the felt to make my hat warmer, so it's still super cold. Tomorrow however it will happen! Until then, I will huddle underneath my super stylish snuggie and make some mittens. Yay mittens!!
thought by Just Becca at 9:53 PM
thought by Just Becca at 1:17 AM
Friday, December 3, 2010
Oh dear. This week has been slowly chaotic. Basically been in limbo with the moving forward of the whole me getting fixed and walking normally thing because of insurance stuff. Thankfully today it was all sorted out and now I can move on! Well, on Wednesday I can. Until then I have these nice little pain pills that make life more bearable haha...
Choir concert happens in about twenty minutes. I asked my Gel group to come, but I don't know if they are. I don't think they are either. Its not that huge of a disappointment, but I would like someone there just for me and for no one else. That sounds super superficial and vain. But haven't you ever wanted someone there just for you to let you know that you did a good job? Still vain, I know.
thought by Just Becca at 5:36 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I should be finishing a final. however its not timed so I'm not really worried about it. Instead I'm watching Jockeys and writing a new blog. Today has been a decently okay day. Went out to eat and found out I have enough for another meal on a gift card I got a little while ago. It is also the day that I've walked the furthest in a week. Sad to say, still hurts like all get out. Even now as I sit here I just want to moan and curl up into a little ball so I don't have to deal with the pain. I keep hoping that someone cancels their appointment for tomorrow so I can get in a day earlier. Not sure what a big difference a day makes, but I'm convinced it will make one. I'm just not feeling this whole limping around campus and getting asked "Where are your crutches?" I hate crutches. We don't get along. I hate being made fun of for using them and I hate people think that I need help when I am on them.
I'm 18 days out from going back to Missouri. Lately I've been being plagued by thoughts of my horses. I really miss them and I hate that the perfect time for me to ride is spent in school. Pictures, movies and tv shows just aren't the same. One of the things I want to do is polish all my tack and then crush out my horses and make them all pretty. Most of all I think I miss that horsecrazy girl I used to be with no inhibitions and the world at her feet.
thought by Just Becca at 5:38 PM
Saturday, November 27, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 1:31 PM
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I can't walk very well. I haven't been able to for over a week now. I've been hobbling around either on my own feet or crutches, which I have decided are my worst enemy ever. Crutches are not my friends. Never will be. Anyway, I took a nap today. This nap was brilliant and induced by the amazing pain meds I'm taking now that cause me to sleep and not feel anything. This nap had a great dream in which I was running and jumping and leaping like a little unicorn. It was magical! So when I awoke out of my magical jumping dream, for some reason, I thought that I would be able to leap from my bed and begin the day anew. Unfortunately, I forgot the whole "I'm a slight cripple and landing on the bad leg causes intense pain and collapse". So, after the whole *BADUM!* of jumping out of bed, I was stricken with a gut wrenching realization of "NO" and collapsed on the ground. There I lay. Pathetic and withering on the ground in pain. Then the haze from the sleep lifted and I realized more clearly, I cannot move normally. And that I was kinda hungry. After many more minutes of laying on the floor wondering first what I could eat and second how I was going to get up, the thought of rolling came to me. Rolling is less effective in a dorm room than one would think. Instead of rolling to my closet where I would use the sink to pull myself up, somehow I rolled into my bed, cornering myself. Slowly, I just gave in. I was never getting up.
Then I realized I was being dumb and could use the bed to pull myself up.
That was the clearest moment of my day. Now I can sit here, off the floor and happily with my easy mac and coke recounting the story for you. Take that crutches I didn't use but probably should have!
thought by Just Becca at 5:06 PM
So if you haven't noticed the sidebar addition, you should check it out!
or you could go here and do the same thing.
thought by Just Becca at 1:09 AM
thought by Just Becca at 12:46 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
So I haven't posted in a while because of two main things, NMC and the internet being down at school. The NMC was pretty dang amazing, got to connect with a few friends, made new ones and it was generally just a good time. However, I was a bit of a bum because walking was not of my favorite things. I got hurt playing soccer and it was pretty bad. Such is life.
thought by Just Becca at 7:47 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The vast majority of packing for me is done! Huzzah! Now I'm just hanging out until I decide it is time to crash so that I can get up super early for the National Missionary Convention. I'd say more, but there really isn't anything to say on it. I'm going. Bum leg and all. Oh. That. Yeah, its just as bad as it was yesterday and the only brightside is I may not end up in the er this time. Down side is no soccer for the rest of the semester. That I am super bummed over. Oh well.
I'm pretty excited about the NMC. But not all at once. Mix of emotions!
thought by Just Becca at 7:19 PM
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
In a little more than 24 hours I will be on my way to Lexington Kentucky for the National Missionary Convention! This breaks my streak of being the only cross-cultural major to not go every year. Its a bittersweet ending to that. Luckily, in my van, I am not the only driver! Woot! Only a nice five hour drive for me! When we get there, I'm working the booth for MACU- so you should stop by- and hanging out with the kids Saturday all day! Yeah! I'm super excited about working with the kids!
Anyway, that's pretty much all the excitement. In other news, soccer was fun. Managed to get a little hurt, but not too worried about it yet so we'll see what the diagnosis is tomorrow. Either way, I'm about ready to take a bunch of advil and call it a night. To keep you all entertained....I give you....Marcel the shell with shoes on!!
thought by Just Becca at 11:29 PM
Sunday, November 14, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 10:09 PM
Saturday, November 13, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 11:39 PM
Tonight was Y-Night. Basically, if you don't know what that is, the local YMCA allows us to take over their building for a few hours. Typically, quite a few people show up, however this time there were very few people. This made me a little sad because I always hear about how there is nothing to do on campus, how few opportunities we have to hang together off of campus and how no one ever wants to do anything. Now, I understand that its a Friday night and people have things to do on the weekends, but come on! Don't complain if you aren't willing to stay an extra night or get off your duff. Anyway, I had a good time. One of my friends who I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with was there and it was really nice to get to hang out with her for a while. She's a lovely gal, and I hope that she knows that.
thought by Just Becca at 1:42 AM
Thursday, November 11, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 4:03 PM
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I like silence. I enjoy not having music on at at times so the quiet hum of electricity can be heard. I like to turn off the radio in the car so the wooshing air and the rubber on asphalt can be heard. I especially enjoy quiet in bible studies. After a question is asked, I'd much rather hear silence. I like silence.
thought by Just Becca at 11:49 PM
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Today I was told that even though I'm open and willing to share who I am and everything, I'm not willing to give that information up. Its true. I've been burned before by people, so I'm not going to just readily give away information about myself unless the right questions are asked. It isn't anything against people, it's a self-preserving mechanism that I have adopted over time to save myself heartache.
thought by Just Becca at 11:55 PM
Dear Mr. Headache,
thought by Just Becca at 3:23 PM
Sunday, November 7, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 11:08 PM
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I feel super productive today. I cleaned my car and my room and managed to wash all of my laundry and put away summer clothes. Not only did I manage to do all of that, but I also got a bit of homework done and shortly I will be doing a pretty little elephant. Super fun day! Tomorrow I hope to get everything else that I need to do homework wise tomorrow, along with a couple hats. Feelin pretty snazzy about all of that right now.
Oh did I mention I made some pretty cute turkeys out of pumpkins? No? Well, I did. Probably the most adorable turkeys on earth. You'll just have to believe me because I'm not going to load a picture tonight.
thought by Just Becca at 7:47 PM
Its supposed to be a flower hat for a little girl. The size scares me cause I'm not used to making little people hats, but its stretchy so it should work. Tomorrow I plan on making another elephant, for a different person and maybe another hat. So let me know what you think of this one. Thanks!
thought by Just Becca at 12:15 AM
Thursday, November 4, 2010
A little insight to me...
I'm always early because I hate being late.
I will forget important things like keys, cards, phone.
thought by Just Becca at 9:57 PM
Sometimes I find it funny that the people who are supposed to know you well, never take notice when you're sunk the lowest. But people who know you on the surface and maybe a bit below, notice from yards away. Its not humorous in a laughing way, more quixotic I suppose.
I suppose one day they'll notice, when they aren't so busy and such.
thought by Just Becca at 12:17 AM
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I keep debating back and forth on selling a few of the things that I have crocheted. Problem is, I don't know if people would really want to buy them or not. Hmm. What do you think people?
If so, how?
thought by Just Becca at 11:36 PM
Today was the day that I did chapel with a friend of mine. Our topic was addiction. There was a realyl great skit that a few of our friends helped us out with (Thank you!) and a video. It all went off without a hitch and was pretty dang awesome. I spoke this chapel and here is what I said:
Addiction. That's such a funny word. It can be positive or negative. I'm addicted to Jesus! I'm addicted to love! I'm addicted to serving! I'm addicted to meth. I'm addicted to porn. I'm addicted to alcohol. Do you know what addiction means? Addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice. To be addicted to something means that you are devoted or given up to a practice or habit or to something psychologically or physically habit-forming. Doesn't sound too bad if you're addicted to something positive, does it? We're surrounded to addiction every day. From religion, to drugs, people, and ideals... people are addicted to something somewhere at all times. We're all addicted to something.
Addiction isn't just to drugs, alcohol and the like. Its also feelings, desires and ideals. My father was addicted to feeling bigger than the rest of us. He needed to always feel as if he was in control, like the top dog, big kahuna. His addiction drove him too far sometimes, and most of the time he didn't realize that he wasn't in control anymore. His addiction was being in control. Now don't start assuming he was a completely horrible man, he does have some redeeming factors. He's just one of the many examples of people who are blindly addicted to a feeling.
You can also think about girls in high school, or boys for that matter. Their need to be noticed, hip, smooth. They are addicted to attention. They crave that feeling that you get when someone of the opposite sex notices you for the first time, that feeling of, “they saw me.” They need to have the clothes, hair, makeup, shoes....all of those things that make you 'in'. It just feeds their addiction. They are addicted to attention.
What am I addicted to? I would love to say that I'm one of those people who are just simply addicted to Jesus. I'd be lying if I said I was. I'm not addicted like I should be. Simply being wanted. I am addicted to the need to be accepted, wanted, loved, needed. Crazy, I know. My body hungers for the feeling of being a part of something. My soul aches when its left on the outskirts. I am addicted to being wanted.
But even with this desire, I know that it'll break. And it's been breaking, slowly, cautiously over the past years. How you ask? Because I found the key to end this addiction. You all know it, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Its love. Love breaks addiction. Love is what calls families to have interventions with the ones that are addicted in their family. True love is what is trying to have an intervention in yours. This love is so easy to have, but so hard to recognize. Its just beckoning for you to hear it above the roar of your addictions. It wants you so badly to change. It poured out its life and blood just so you can be free from the things that hold you down. Love wants you and me. Its taken me a long time to realize this. My intervention from my addiction has been staged. Its not going to be easy. But slowly, I am learning that Love is the only thing that will take that consuming desire and replace it with something so much better. Love is waiting for you too to say that you are tired of always wanting more of something else, more of your addiction. It can't do it for you. It may seem harrowing, but its worth it. I'm sure its worth it. I don't know what your addiction is. Honestly, I don't want to know either. Its between you and God. You know what you have to do. You've heard it a million times, a million different ways. I'm sure, like me, you've given it up for a short while, just to go crawling back when withdrawal kicks in. But, if you can last through that time, you're going to find something so much better. Love.
So that's what I had to say about addiction. I hope you thought it was okay. Thanks for reading.
thought by Just Becca at 10:12 AM
thought by Just Becca at 12:34 AM
Friday, October 29, 2010
I was going to write the other day, but then I took a step back and realized that it would have been a horrible blog. Mostly because I just wanted to rant about how couples couple and single people weep and the whole world is topsy turvy and my stomach is weak. So I decided to wait. To let everything simmer down and to write with a semi-clear head. Preferably this would have been after a Scrabble game and much laughter, but instead it is after watching a basketball game and a sore throat. But that's okay in the scheme of things. So, anyway, today I started getting scheduled for classes. This time of year always stresses me out because I never know how close I am to graduating nor if the classes I need are going to be available. Part of my taking forever to graduate is every other year classes, the other is amazing insecurity in the after college life. But let's focus on scheduling. This year went smoother than others because I prepped for it. I ticked off what I wanted to take and added that to what I needed to take. Magically they all aligned just so, and now everything I need is lined up wonderfully. There are only two classes I'm not exactly thrilled about. One is at 8am, so naturally I inherently oppose it. The other is math. I suck at math. Toss a scientific equation at me any time of day, give me chemicals to balance, any of the science math; just don't give me normal math. I am beyond horrible, terrible no good at it. With no fail it makes me feel like a five year old who has been given a three digit multiplication problem and six minutes to solve it. Bleh. All will be okay. It too shall pass with at least a C.
On to the other part, after graduation. With the way things are looking, I will only have to take two more semesters worth of classes and one internship. That means I'd graduate in December of 2011. I honestly have no idea and no prospects as to what I would do after that. I've been racking my brain to find things. What am I good at? Who would hire me? What would I use my degree for? Its all so scary and daunting. Sometimes I just want to curl up and pretend that adulthood isn't coming for me. That I won't have to move away and I'll always get to live in a dorm and have my friends around. Sadly, that can't happen. I've got to grow up sometime and I'm terrified. My choices are basically, find a job out here, apartment and work here or move back home and work in the store I've been working in for the past four summers and stay with my grandparents and miss everything out here. I'd miss everything back home too. My ideal situation would be to be hired by the school to do what I do now full time. I don't know if that will ever happen. Maybe between now and then Prince Charming (or Finn or "Jim Halpurt") will come and rescue me and show me what to do. If only fairy tales came true right?
There are a million things flying around in my head currently. I wish I could get them all out. Talk to someone about them, but I can't. Or more of, won't. I don't want to burden people with my thoughts and insecurities. But I would like a person to take pictures with. Not that I have a working camera right now. So maybe a walk. Or soccer. Or coffee shop. Or movie. Or frankly anything. One day it'll be my turn. Till then I've got to suck it up and be quiet.
thought by Just Becca at 10:10 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
This past weekend was a great one for me. I was able to go to Busch Gardens and Howl-o-scream on Sunday. That's pretty much a dream come true for me because I've been wanting to do that for a really long time. It was, in short, amazing. Every bit of it I loved. From waiting for my friends to return from a coaster to even walking through a haunted house and going on my first coaster since give or take 15 years. Every bit of it I loved!
Friday and Saturday were spent laughing. A lot. And watching horrible B movies and seeing other movies and just getting to hang out with people that make me laugh at stupid things and words. It was quite fun. And yesterday I went on a college fair that was a really good one! So much fun! Now, its Tuesday and things have calmed down quite a bit. The Rocky Horror Glee show isn't on till 8 and I have several things to do before then, but it'll all get done and be set. I can't wait for this show! Yay! Oh, this week has been kind.
thought by Just Becca at 10:41 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Got to see Paranormal Activity 2 with a large group of friends. By large, I mean we couldn't all sit in the same row or exact area. Which is kinda cool cause it started out as three and grew to a lot. Anyway, it was a pretty good movie and explained a lot from the first one. I have this feeling that there might be a third, but you never know. When we got back, I made a pumpkin. Pictures will come later probably, but I'm too lazy to upload them currently. He is rather cute. Tomorrow looks like a nice calm day and then Sunday. Sunday I am going to Busch Gardens. I am super excited about this because I've never been before and have always really wanted to go. Now I am! Yay!
thought by Just Becca at 1:25 AM
Thursday, October 21, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 3:32 PM
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 4:06 PM
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday Night Live went off great. It was pretty awesome to see all the people packing the gym and watching the band rock out. Tony Wolf was there and he's a pretty funny dude. Bobby Wallace spoke and from what I heard he was pretty great. Nothing major bad happened, so, it was awesome. I'd be using more exclamation marks, however, its morning and I'm not a excitable person before noon. I'm also waging the debate of 'should I change into my grownup pants or will I have time to change before I leave'. Its great. Later today I'll be driving about four hours away to this town to do a college fair. Its a late fair which means I'll be getting back late and totally wish I had someone going with me. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who can go with me soon...hopefully. I really dislike going alone on long trips cause I'm always worried I'll never find my way back. Plus, driving at night makes me nervous. I could do with less nervous in my life. What else can I say? School is back in session and I'm super happy about that. I don't like breaks that don't really serve a purpose. I mean, I get that fall break is good because it allows us to have a rest mid-semester and whatnot, but I'd rather get all my learning done and then take a longer christmas break. I'd be better for me anyway cause it'd give me another week at home. But I'm not in charge of the academic calendar. I just remembered I have to go drop off a table cloth. Joy. Well, I guess that is what I'm going to go do.
thought by Just Becca at 10:08 AM
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Right now i am sitting listening to this band play their songs while i run through lights. I love SNL sundays.
thought by Just Becca at 3:22 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2010
I have a list. Actually, I have several lists. This particular list got revamped today. After looking at it for a little bit, the qualities of all the things on it seemed more the same than ever. Honestly, pretty much repeated the same thing with different nouns and physical characteristics. Even the looks of them aren't all that different. Woah.
In other ramblings, got boxes in the mail yesterday (whoot!) One was a carepackage of food, one was winter stuff and the last one, the most fun one, were things I ordered from Etsy. Now I'm a huge closet nerd. Normally I'm able to keep all of my nerdiness inside. These were super cool to me. I got radish earrings and a cork necklace. Basically this means I'm going to get a lot of wisdom and the nargles won't bother me.
If you didn't, google.
thought by Just Becca at 11:34 PM
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Its super early in the morning. Earlier than I get up for classes early. Today I get to go to a college fair in a town I've never been to before. Not going to lie, I'm really tired right now. Mornings like these make me wish I drank coffee. Nasty stuff. I happen to look pretty dang stunning right now...which does bring up my mood a little bit. Looks like a energy drink kind of morning with a side of something fast. At least this one gets done a bit earlier, so I can get back in time to sleep for the next one...super stoked about that sleep right now...yeah. So focused on tiredness. Okay. Jumping jack jumping jack monster lunge. Nope. Still tired. Oh well. So long as I wake up in time to answer questions, its all good.
thought by Just Becca at 6:40 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2010
thanks for reading!
thought by Just Becca at 1:52 PM
thought by Just Becca at 1:46 PM
Friday, October 8, 2010
This week has been full of lows and highs all around. Starting on Sunday with the confusion, realization, horror, shock of what happened. Monday with the mourning, uncertainty, and knowledge. Tuesday with the attempt to be 'normal', the stress, the hounding, the pain. Wednesday with the pleading, bargaining, tears, hatred, and sorrow. Thursday with the remembering, rebuilding, grace, healing. And then today. Today with the ending, the game, the start. The overriding theme of this week however was love. Love for God, for one another, from God. Love is what kept us together and love is what is going to bring us through everything. You might have noticed the little picture on the side of the blog. Go on. Check it out. That is in memory of two students that attended my school. One for the joy that he now has in heaven and the other for the reminder to pray for him every day. When things happen, good or bad, one person isn't just affected. Lots of people are affected. This is going to, and already has changed a lot of people. But, we need to remember the love we are given and the love we are supposed to give. Its really hard to remember that sometimes. And sometimes all we can do is just try. That's what we need to do right now.
thought by Just Becca at 11:19 PM
Monday, October 4, 2010
Things at school are hard right now. All I ask is that you pray. Pray for the students, families, teachers, ministers, counselors, policemen, detectives, and community. Pray for peace. Pray for an end to the grief. Pray for everyone to find the calm in the storm. Pray that through this, God will make something even greater happen. Pray that more people come to know God. Pray that we all can love more, show more grace and just learn more about Him. Just pray.
thought by Just Becca at 9:37 PM
Sunday, October 3, 2010
trying to make things with
the words that I type. I
don't know if you
that or not.
But I thought it was kinda
fun and all cause sometimes
it gets really boring reading the
same way all the time.
Maybe not. I don't
the social network tonight.
it was a pretty great movie
and I recommend that
you see it as soon
as you can.
thought by Just Becca at 1:21 AM
Friday, October 1, 2010
at least most of the time.
thought by Just Becca at 5:25 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
yesterday my cat died.
thought by Just Becca at 5:24 PM
Monday, September 27, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 10:41 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I have one and a quarter papers to finish and a few services to type up. However, I do not feel motivated to do it at all. Its the horrible cycle of its not due till noon tomorrow and then the I know it'll take me all of an hour to do it. Now, its not that I don't know how to do it ('cept IBL. No idea on that at all), I'm pretty smart and a very good writer when the will and need strikes. I am just an amazing procrastinator. And what sucks more about that is the fact that it completely and utterly stresses me out. And when I stress, I stress about stressing and then become even more stressed out that I cannot stop stressing. All of that takes its toll in a few ways: either I can't sleep, eat or stop 'doing' or all I do is sleep, over eat and become lethargic. Never is it in the middle, always one extreme or the other. Like currently, I'm stressing out that I am not doing my work, which has caused me to clench my jaw all day, which means now I have a sore jaw and pretty nice little headache. Plus, this go around I'm in the second category so I have been loafing around all day. However, I did make some head way on my work. Its just not enough. What sucks even more is that because of my 'dealing' strategies, not even notices when I'm fully stressed out. The close friends I have can tell, but many others cannot. And when its the weekend and everyone is home, or on their way back, or just not here, there really isn't anyone to stop and ask if I'm okay and if everything is going well. Which is something that I would really love someone to recognize and ask. Not being asked stresses me out. That's probably weird. What's even weirder is now I'm stressing out that I can write an entire blog, but I can't get past a second page on a paper on my opinions. Ugh. Right now, I would like a dimly lit bath with a ton of bubbles and warm water, some good soft music, soft towels and a good book. Relaxation. A moment to recollect my self and then begin the slow, methodical process of typing.
thought by Just Becca at 11:19 PM
Friday, September 24, 2010
This past 24 hour period was a real roller coaster. If you know me well, you'd know I hate roller coasters. They make me ill, and cry, and pretty much just want to break down. That's both the real ones and metaphorical ones. Pretty much, I started out on this pretty nice ride, got to an unexpected high and crashed without much warning. The realist in me knew it was coming so I was kinda prepared, but the silly optimist squelched it's warnings and just let it go on. It...yeah. Long story short, not fun.
However, this is going to be a fun weekend. Or at least it looks like it will be. A few of us are supposed to go to the beach, which I am completely stoked about. I love going to the beach and hanging out with my friends. Mostly I love the beach, but don't tell them that...
thought by Just Becca at 7:27 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
lets just walk at night
and take pictures of the crazy things we see.
Telling stories from our memories.
I'll show you the knights and dragons,
you'll show me the maiden fair.
We'll spin a tale through the midnight air.
And when we come the the end of the path,
film spent and story waned,
i'll gasp as we look back and you'll take my hand,
as we trek back, once again.
thought by Just Becca at 1:22 AM
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Lately things seem to be in a rush and in slow motion at the same time. Which is really weird considering nothing is out of normal. Nothing much has changed beyond the date. Maybe its the anticipation of something big that I am not currently aware of. Or it could just be the stack of things that seem to have piled up when I wasn't looking. Not that things really have piled up, but I want to think so, so that I can have a better reason to procrastinate.
thought by Just Becca at 3:04 PM
Friday, September 17, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 6:27 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
To flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment.
thought by Just Becca at 11:22 AM
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
its worked quite well so far to raise my grade
(much less theirs haha)
thought by Just Becca at 4:14 PM
Friday, September 10, 2010
Something that needs to be done more often is walking on the beach at night. Along with that is the night picture taking, which I have a great fondness for. I like to take pictures at that time because everything is just more mystical and neat. Also- its super rare for me to be at the beach after dark so it makes it even more special. I like it. A lot. So if you're ever wondering about what you should do with me, take me to the beach at night and bring a good camera and a flashlight.
It'd be fun.
thought by Just Becca at 12:05 AM
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
This evening I sat outside on one of the swings reading until it came for the sun to set. I had been anticipating this and forgotten that you can't see the sun set out here. This summer when I wasn't working, I sat outside on my front porch and watched the sun go down and every time the awesomeness of it was just wonderful. There was this one sunset that I enjoyed the most. In short, it was perfect.
thought by Just Becca at 10:16 PM
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Today was sneak day. Sneak day is the time honored tradition where the seniors get together and plan a getaway day for the class body without telling anyone, even the professors. Naturally, the professors find out, and are okay with it. Over the recent years, they have known more about it and are asked to come, but only after 9am. This day starts at 5am by all the seniors waking up the underclassmen. My weapon of choice was the airhorn. 'Twas loud, hated and effective. This year it had been decided that we were to go to the Outer Banks of Nc, have a sunrise devo at Son Rise Church (get it? i didn't at first) and then go to Grog's. Grog's is this really cool place that rents out jetskis and has dolphin tours. The people on sneak day got to choose which one to do. I went with the dolphins considering I like them and haven't seen any that close that aren't separated from me by glass. Afterwards, we had this super nice lunch and then went to the beach for a bit. But back to lunch. I got asked to get the beans that were left at the church, so I did. And poor Aimee was the person who got to have them on her lap. Now beans have a fair bit of juice in them, well in the stuff you cook them in. And when you pair that with a container that doesn't seal all the way plus a moving vehicle, you get bean juice all over the inside of your car. It was quite an adventure and my car now smells of baked beans.
All in all, sneak day was pretty much awesome. But now I have to go memorize a bunch of words that I don't want to memorize. Frankly, I just want to go to bed. Soon. Very soon.
thought by Just Becca at 11:13 PM
Sunday, September 5, 2010
thought by Just Becca at 12:52 AM
Friday, September 3, 2010
Well Hurricane Earl has came and mostly left. It was much less stressful than everyone, including me, thought. According to the previous reports, we were supposed to get killer wind and tons of rain. It rained just enough for me to wear my super awesome galoshes, but that was about it. Its stopped now and has been for the couple hours I've been out of class. Its not really windy either. There are a few boats out on the river right now too, if that gives any more indication of what the weather is like outside. My car did get tarped yesterday evening, and I honestly have no intention of uncovering it anytime soon, because, well, it means the inside of my car is still dry and I'm perfectly okay with that. When it gets sunny and not wet I guess I'll uncover it to go places. Right now, that's not my biggest concern. Some of the crazy kids who live at the beach are going home for the weekend to chase the storm or some nonsense like that. Crazies.
In other news, by Monday there will be two new little creatures that will be finished. super excited about that! I finished one part of them last night and its super cute so I can't wait for the other to get done. :)
thought by Just Becca at 3:25 PM
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
T-minus 20 days till Glee!
21 till Bones!
I'm Gleekin out man! I'm am so pumped for the new season! And for Bones! YEAH!
thought by Just Becca at 11:42 PM
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Three things are on my mind right now.
2. I really need to write that journal on moodle.
Second thing. Laziness. Just need to get on it and write something that I thought was interesting.
Just found out that you can see this hurricane from space. That's right. SPACE. My anxiety level just rose 10000%.
thought by Just Becca at 8:54 PM
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I don't want to be the one to shout bible passages from the rooftops.
I don't want to be the one that people see as too pious.
I don't want to be the one called that Jesus freak.
I don't want the be the one that is left out just because I'm Christian.
I don't want to be the one that is hypocritical in what I say and do.
I don't want to be the one that falls short at every turn.
I do want to be the one that people look at and see a difference in.
I do want to be the one that tries to get to know God as well as I can.
I do want to be the one that tries her best to follow Jesus' call to love people.
I do want to be the one that serves others rather than herself.
I do want to be the one that people trust to go to for their problems or questions.
I do want to be the one that recklessly follows the law of grace.
I do want to be the one that praises God in all things quietly.
I do want to be the one that gives her all in everything.
I want to love Jesus and everyone, but I don't want to be seen as the one that is too Christian, too much of a Bible thumper. I don't see the need to spout off verses, shout God's glory or have every post about Jesus. I would much rather people see me as someone who is trying her best to follow what she believes in. I would much rather people see me as the one who serves quietly, can be counted on and will always be there with a hand to help or shoulder to lean on. I never, ever, ever want to be the one to cram the gospel down someone's throat and make them feel inferior to me just because I know more about the bible, whether they are Christian or not. I just want to follow my God, do the best I can and help as many people as possible. But I'm a work in progress and some times, I'm not good at the following and I go astray. But I try.
thought by Just Becca at 11:47 PM
thought by Just Becca at 12:33 AM
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Its the first weekend of the school year and already I'm being a huge procrastinator. I have a book report that is due Monday and I would like to get it and its partner done so I don't have to worry about it. However, I am sitting here on skype talking to one of my friends in Germany and listening to music while I contemplate doing more than just opening the book. I'm also playing the 'try to ignore the pingpong ball that keeps flying at me' game. Seriously people. I am not a target. Also waiting for three o'clock to roll around so my friend and I can get to work watching our online course lectures. This semester I'm really trying to have a decent gpa and get everything done. Its just so hard when you have absolutely zero motivation sometimes. Like today. Today I would love to be at the beach laying out and enjoying the sun. But I got to do homework. Silly silly homework.
thought by Just Becca at 2:04 PM
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I am two classes away from finishing my first week of non-intensive classes this semester. Part of me is really excited the other is going, wait. Yesterday was Monday? Its awesomely weird and grossly fast. On the bright side, my room is mostly completed. I just have to go get a few more command strips and it will be finished. So excited about that! Now, if only E-city could get a Bank of America, I would be all set for the errands I have to fun this weekend.
Soccer started up again this week. And I'm super excited about it. The other day I couldn't play, which made me incredibly sad. However, I got to play today and even though it wasn't super serious it was a lot of fun to get out and run. Also made me re-realize how amazingly out of shape I am. Maybe next week I'll start that workout video I've been meaning to do...maybe not.
Anyway, this semester looks like it's going to be pretty nice. I managed to get signed up and on Moodle for my one online class and that made me pretty dang proud. The other classes I'm pretty interested in so hopefully they won't cause me to lose interest over time. And in a few short weeks my intensive work will be done and that'll just be another thing I don't have to worry about. Ah, such is life.
thought by Just Becca at 11:31 PM
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Ever have one of those days were everything inside feels off, but you decide to just go on and smile and act like everything is alright, because, you know, if you act it you'll feel it? That's today. That's actually almost everyday. I never really got the whole acting like one thing and then suddenly it'll make you feel that way. Like, if you act happy, pretend happy, laugh, sing, dance happy, it doesn't really make you feel happy on the inside. Maybe it works for some people, and it does work in short bursts I suppose, but as far as the long run it doesn't. Its about as effective as trying to suck up the oil spill with a straw. Great analogy huh? I'm not really sure what is off. It is quite possibly quite a few things compiled. Homesickness, feeling out of the loop, school starting, anxiety, new people, etc. It all just feels a bit off. But not "Oh my gosh my world is going to collapse" off, just " I kinda wish someone would notice and give me a hug and talk" off. And even though I am really good at actin happy, I mean good. If there were awards for acting happy all the time, I'd totally win it hands down. But it really doesn't make me feel good on the inside. It just kinda makes me wish someone would see through the five star act and let me know they care. I guess this is a part of growing up. Learning how to feel happy alone. Learning how to deal with periods of off-kilterness and getting on with it all. Oh, woe is man and his existence. Well, I'm going to log off of this and finish drinking my strawberry milk. Good luck, good night and love on.
thought by Just Becca at 12:15 AM
Monday, August 23, 2010
Happy Birthday to the person who was born on Aug. 22.
thought by Just Becca at 2:44 PM
Friday, August 20, 2010
I just spent two hours on the phone with my best friend. Seriously. I rarely am ever on the phone that long, and normally its with her when it does happen. She is so completely awesome and doesn't even know it all of the time. She makes me feel so normal and loved and understood. Its so nice to have someone like that that's always there in my corner to let me know that things are okay and I'm not completely crazy. She also has a ton of stuff going on in her life. Which kinda sucks because not all of it is good stuff. But even through the crappy things, she always seems to find a way to laugh. We always seem to be able to make each other laugh, which I love. Even when I'm lamenting over how completely sucky everything is, she points out some little piece of irony and we laugh for a while. She's known me forever and is the best person I know. There really isn't a message to this beyond I love her and only wish the best for her.
thought by Just Becca at 11:24 PM
Thursday, August 19, 2010
As I currently sit here, I am one day, four papers, one project and one final paper away from being done with my intensive. It has been a pretty much class and I've enjoyed it. I would have liked to taken What is worship, but this was okay too. Still pretty much just wiped out by the time I get done with class. Like right now, I am seriously considering a nap even though it is almost 7. But I'm just dog beat tired. Also need to go get some non-lunchables food. Hm. My roommate is back and it was super cool to see her for a bit. She'll be back later, I believe. Sometime next week I'm going to go get my tub of school stuff, which is cool. Cause I'll also get to go to gel group. Okay. That's all. I'm going to take a nap!
thought by Just Becca at 6:35 PM