Sunday, September 19, 2010


Lately things seem to be in a rush and in slow motion at the same time. Which is really weird considering nothing is out of normal. Nothing much has changed beyond the date. Maybe its the anticipation of something big that I am not currently aware of. Or it could just be the stack of things that seem to have piled up when I wasn't looking. Not that things really have piled up, but I want to think so, so that I can have a better reason to procrastinate.

Since I got the official news that I can go to Berlin next summer, lots of things have been running through my mind. Will I be able to raise the money in time? What will my family think? Will I know enough German to talk to people? What will happen when I am not home? Will they be okay? Will my work hate me for not going back next summer? Does this mean I am really going to graduate and grow up? What will I do there? Will I be okay? What if something major happens back home? A million and one questions keep circling around my mind and it hurts to think about them and question everything. I know that I really want to go, that is is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. But all the what-ifs cause me to doubt myself, the trip and everything involved. Its like a poorly written science-fiction novel right now. Hopefully, everything will straighten out and be okay.
It looks like my procrastination will have to come to an end because my friend is coming down to watch the videos for the online class we're in together. On the upside, its one of the two things I need to finish today. On the downside, the videos suck. A lot.
Love on.