Friday, October 29, 2010

one day, it'll be my turn.

I was going to write the other day, but then I took a step back and realized that it would have been a horrible blog. Mostly because I just wanted to rant about how couples couple and single people weep and the whole world is topsy turvy and my stomach is weak. So I decided to wait. To let everything simmer down and to write with a semi-clear head. Preferably this would have been after a Scrabble game and much laughter, but instead it is after watching a basketball game and a sore throat. But that's okay in the scheme of things. So, anyway, today I started getting scheduled for classes. This time of year always stresses me out because I never know how close I am to graduating nor if the classes I need are going to be available. Part of my taking forever to graduate is every other year classes, the other is amazing insecurity in the after college life. But let's focus on scheduling. This year went smoother than others because I prepped for it. I ticked off what I wanted to take and added that to what I needed to take. Magically they all aligned just so, and now everything I need is lined up wonderfully. There are only two classes I'm not exactly thrilled about. One is at 8am, so naturally I inherently oppose it. The other is math. I suck at math. Toss a scientific equation at me any time of day, give me chemicals to balance, any of the science math; just don't give me normal math. I am beyond horrible, terrible no good at it. With no fail it makes me feel like a five year old who has been given a three digit multiplication problem and six minutes to solve it. Bleh. All will be okay. It too shall pass with at least a C.
On to the other part, after graduation. With the way things are looking, I will only have to take two more semesters worth of classes and one internship. That means I'd graduate in December of 2011. I honestly have no idea and no prospects as to what I would do after that. I've been racking my brain to find things. What am I good at? Who would hire me? What would I use my degree for? Its all so scary and daunting. Sometimes I just want to curl up and pretend that adulthood isn't coming for me. That I won't have to move away and I'll always get to live in a dorm and have my friends around. Sadly, that can't happen. I've got to grow up sometime and I'm terrified. My choices are basically, find a job out here, apartment and work here or move back home and work in the store I've been working in for the past four summers and stay with my grandparents and miss everything out here. I'd miss everything back home too. My ideal situation would be to be hired by the school to do what I do now full time. I don't know if that will ever happen. Maybe between now and then Prince Charming (or Finn or "Jim Halpurt") will come and rescue me and show me what to do. If only fairy tales came true right?
There are a million things flying around in my head currently. I wish I could get them all out. Talk to someone about them, but I can't. Or more of, won't. I don't want to burden people with my thoughts and insecurities. But I would like a person to take pictures with. Not that I have a working camera right now. So maybe a walk. Or soccer. Or coffee shop. Or movie. Or frankly anything. One day it'll be my turn. Till then I've got to suck it up and be quiet.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

happy days

This past weekend was a great one for me. I was able to go to Busch Gardens and Howl-o-scream on Sunday. That's pretty much a dream come true for me because I've been wanting to do that for a really long time. It was, in short, amazing. Every bit of it I loved. From waiting for my friends to return from a coaster to even walking through a haunted house and going on my first coaster since give or take 15 years. Every bit of it I loved!
Friday and Saturday were spent laughing. A lot. And watching horrible B movies and seeing other movies and just getting to hang out with people that make me laugh at stupid things and words. It was quite fun. And yesterday I went on a college fair that was a really good one! So much fun! Now, its Tuesday and things have calmed down quite a bit. The Rocky Horror Glee show isn't on till 8 and I have several things to do before then, but it'll all get done and be set. I can't wait for this show! Yay! Oh, this week has been kind.

Saturday, October 23, 2010


Got to see Paranormal Activity 2 with a large group of friends. By large, I mean we couldn't all sit in the same row or exact area. Which is kinda cool cause it started out as three and grew to a lot. Anyway, it was a pretty good movie and explained a lot from the first one. I have this feeling that there might be a third, but you never know. When we got back, I made a pumpkin. Pictures will come later probably, but I'm too lazy to upload them currently. He is rather cute. Tomorrow looks like a nice calm day and then Sunday. Sunday I am going to Busch Gardens. I am super excited about this because I've never been before and have always really wanted to go. Now I am! Yay!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

my mom rules

My mom sent me a care package for Halloween. Its my favorite holiday. Basically, my mom is cooler than your mom.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I love:

argyle prints. sweaters, vests, them all.

the leaves changing fro, green to red, orange and yellow.

the smell of a wood fireplace burning.

that crisp, fresh breeze of fall.

tube socks. i have a slight obsession.

random happy dresses.

raspberry hot chocolate from Muddy's.

scrabble games that last for hours because
we're too busy laughing to spell.

the magic feeling you get when you see someone you like.

the realization that single doesn't mean you're alone.

the ba-dum of a heart.


Monday, October 18, 2010


Sunday Night Live went off great. It was pretty awesome to see all the people packing the gym and watching the band rock out. Tony Wolf was there and he's a pretty funny dude. Bobby Wallace spoke and from what I heard he was pretty great. Nothing major bad happened, so, it was awesome. I'd be using more exclamation marks, however, its morning and I'm not a excitable person before noon. I'm also waging the debate of 'should I change into my grownup pants or will I have time to change before I leave'. Its great. Later today I'll be driving about four hours away to this town to do a college fair. Its a late fair which means I'll be getting back late and totally wish I had someone going with me. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who can go with me soon...hopefully. I really dislike going alone on long trips cause I'm always worried I'll never find my way back. Plus, driving at night makes me nervous. I could do with less nervous in my life. What else can I say? School is back in session and I'm super happy about that. I don't like breaks that don't really serve a purpose. I mean, I get that fall break is good because it allows us to have a rest mid-semester and whatnot, but I'd rather get all my learning done and then take a longer christmas break. I'd be better for me anyway cause it'd give me another week at home. But I'm not in charge of the academic calendar. I just remembered I have to go drop off a table cloth. Joy. Well, I guess that is what I'm going to go do.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Right now i am sitting listening to this band play their songs while i run through lights. I love SNL sundays.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Nargles beware!

I have a list. Actually, I have several lists. This particular list got revamped today. After looking at it for a little bit, the qualities of all the things on it seemed more the same than ever. Honestly, pretty much repeated the same thing with different nouns and physical characteristics. Even the looks of them aren't all that different. Woah.

In other ramblings, got boxes in the mail yesterday (whoot!) One was a carepackage of food, one was winter stuff and the last one, the most fun one, were things I ordered from Etsy. Now I'm a huge closet nerd. Normally I'm able to keep all of my nerdiness inside. These were super cool to me. I got radish earrings and a cork necklace. Basically this means I'm going to get a lot of wisdom and the nargles won't bother me.

If you got that, you know what its from.
If you didn't, google.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

this is why i don't get up early

Its super early in the morning. Earlier than I get up for classes early. Today I get to go to a college fair in a town I've never been to before. Not going to lie, I'm really tired right now. Mornings like these make me wish I drank coffee. Nasty stuff. I happen to look pretty dang stunning right now...which does bring up my mood a little bit. Looks like a energy drink kind of morning with a side of something fast. At least this one gets done a bit earlier, so I can get back in time to sleep for the next one...super stoked about that sleep right now...yeah. So focused on tiredness. Okay. Jumping jack jumping jack monster lunge. Nope. Still tired. Oh well. So long as I wake up in time to answer questions, its all good.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


also- 1,000!
woohoo! you guys are awesome!
thanks for reading!

productive? nah

Saturday was a super productive day. Really meaning, I did a load of laundry and then finished a scarf that had needed to be done for just over a year. Oh, and I watched all of season 3 of the office. Love that show! Anyway...the scarf is super cool and is a nod to the Hufflepuff house. I'm pretty much in like with it. Today doesn't look like it will be much more productive. More laundry, more crochet, more episodes. Its a nice change from the rushing week that was had here.
Without further ado, here's the scarf I made....
Trying to show the pattern I used, it was pretty simple and quick.

As you can tell, I'm super excited about this scarf and totally plan on wearing it a ton with these new earrings and necklace I got. So snazzy!

Friday, October 8, 2010


This week has been full of lows and highs all around. Starting on Sunday with the confusion, realization, horror, shock of what happened. Monday with the mourning, uncertainty, and knowledge. Tuesday with the attempt to be 'normal', the stress, the hounding, the pain. Wednesday with the pleading, bargaining, tears, hatred, and sorrow. Thursday with the remembering, rebuilding, grace, healing. And then today. Today with the ending, the game, the start. The overriding theme of this week however was love. Love for God, for one another, from God. Love is what kept us together and love is what is going to bring us through everything. You might have noticed the little picture on the side of the blog. Go on. Check it out. That is in memory of two students that attended my school. One for the joy that he now has in heaven and the other for the reminder to pray for him every day. When things happen, good or bad, one person isn't just affected. Lots of people are affected. This is going to, and already has changed a lot of people. But, we need to remember the love we are given and the love we are supposed to give. Its really hard to remember that sometimes. And sometimes all we can do is just try. That's what we need to do right now.

forever and always...


Monday, October 4, 2010

Things at school are hard right now. All I ask is that you pray. Pray for the students, families, teachers, ministers, counselors, policemen, detectives, and community. Pray for peace. Pray for an end to the grief. Pray for everyone to find the calm in the storm. Pray that through this, God will make something even greater happen. Pray that more people come to know God. Pray that we all can love more, show more grace and just learn more about Him. Just pray.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Recently I have been
trying to make things with
the words that I type. I
don't know if you
that or not.
But I thought it was kinda
fun and all cause sometimes
it gets really boring reading the
same way all the time.
Maybe not. I don't
know what

Anyway........I saw
the social network tonight.
it was a pretty great movie
and I recommend that
you see it as soon
as you can.

So I'm not really sure what the first one was supposed to just looked cool. But the second one is a heart. Because I really liked that movie. Its quick and somewhat witty and shows a lot of what nerdy, outcast and yet semi-popular college life is like...well at least at a secular college. Not so much at a Christian one. We'll let bygones be bygones on that subject. Anyway, it was quite a nice night with my friend. We had a 'date night' and got all prettified, went out to the Outerbanks where we had dinner and then saw "The Social Network." Twas a grand night. Oh, and we sang awesome songs like "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Prior to that, I cleaned my room. It is pretty nice and clean right now. So nice. Now if only my shirts would dry so I could put them away and the quarter machine worked so that I could do the rest of my laundry... tomorrow's work I suppose. My football team has a bye week this weekend so I should be able to get a lot of work done tomorrow. Hooray for responsibilities! Well, now I kinda have to go to sleep, or attempt to. Its been a long day. Love on, people.

Friday, October 1, 2010


Today I realized how much I miss playing my oboe.
I'm going to start playing more.
Its sounds make me happy.
at least most of the time.
its a great oboe.
that's all.