Friday, November 27, 2009

time, sit on the bench.

There are fifteen days before I begin my trek back to Missouri for winter break. Fifteen days to complete homework, decide what is going to be taken home for spring semester, build friendships, finalize work schedules, plan routes and weather watch. Two weeks to realize that the semester flew by yet again and to notice how life just seems to pass me by. Its weird to sit here and feel that just yesterday I was sitting on my bed from last year begging God to just hurry time so I could leave. That just yesterday I was getting on a plane to visit Virginia for the first time. Just yesterday I was crossing the stage to receive my diploma. It astounds me. My amazement never ceases at time's ability to drag and fly at the same time. We're told to take the time to smell the roses, but when we do, nothing stops. and we're left with memories of the roses. There are many passages that talk about how our time is short on this earth...but do we ever realize just how short it is till it's too late? I'm about a quarter of my life done. And what is there to show but vast amounts of wasted time? Time that could have and should have been spent helping others, reading, studying, etc. but instead were spent on self-gratifying things. I feel as if I'm preaching to the choir. We'e all heard this speech before, all have vowed to change and make moments more purposeful and all have succeeded.....for a day. Good intentions never got a man far. I feel hypocritical, sitting on my bed letting time pass by. But at 3am there's little impact I can make on man kind. Even if I did, would it be remembered? Probably not. In the great span of time, a open door is nothing. A thousand is a dot and a million is a dash. They say little things add up. And they do. In the 21 years, its all the little things that mean the most. And for the next fifteen days, I hope its the little things that people see. I hope that time will take a breather and sit on the bench. I don't want to look back next semester and feel like time slipped away before break. Time, just let me have these moments. Let my vapor of a life intertwine with the vapors of others' lives for the brief time I have left with them before being gone for a while.