Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Well, its another stormy night in Missouri. I have been watching the radar for the past threeish hours just to make sure nothing bad was going to come by in the night. I like thunderstorms and rain and such, just not when severe weather can also occur. I really hate those kinds of storms. Luckily, this one is mostly just rain. Silly activity killing rain. Silly motivation killing rain. There was so much that I wanted to accomplish today...and I got none of it done. Spent most of my day watching NitroCircus and Built to Shred wishing I was half as good at the sports as they are. Maybe if I ever get a place to practice I'll be able to work on my limited skills.

Currently, Whose Line is it Anyway? is on. This show has always made me laugh and has been a source of joy when I watch it. But not tonight. Barely a smile is escaping. Its weird. Its like I can't let go of things that are bothering me to enjoy a simple thing. That hasn't been a problem before. I've always been able to let things go and just enjoy a show or book or whatever. But this, this won't let me be. Its probably because it has decided to move in and take up residence in the living room. This might be the motivation I need to get my room done for the summer...

This sucks. I really don't have anyone here to talk to. (this is also going to begin my complaint about being here, log off now if you really don't car). I have no friends in this town or the next over. The only people I talk to that aren't related to me are those I work with and I don't hang out, visit with, etc with them out of work. My closest friend(s) are two and a half hours away. And my friends at school all have busy summers working, being social etc and I couldn't and wouldn't ask them to do anything but that. They all deserve this break that we get from school. I'm just really lonely. Really really lonely. Even the voice in my head is tired of talking to itself and wishes for someone new, something new. I kinda long for the old days when I could just ring up a friend and go hang out...and it not take major planning, taking time off of work, a tank of gas. One of these days I'll live close to friends. I hope.